IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In some countries, small town-center shops are going out of business because people tend to drive to large out-of-town stores. As a result, people without cars have limited access to out-of-town stores, and it may result in an increase in the use of cars. Do you think the disadvantages of this change outweigh its advantages?

#countries #town-center #shops #business #people #drive #stores #cars #access #change
In recent years,more and more
people
seeks
Change the verb form
seek
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
life quality.Some smaller shops would face
bankrupt
Replace the word
bankruptcy
show examples
 in
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
 town area.Increasing
people
likes
Change the verb form
like
show examples
 to
driving
Wrong verb form
drive
show examples
 vehicles to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
far place
then
 buy stuff.I consider
this
 event is
harm
Replace the word
harmful
show examples
 more than
profit
Replace the word
profitable
show examples
.So
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will analyze
this
 problem in residents and the government of
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
.
Firstly
,
people
likes
Change the verb form
like
show examples
 to
driving
Wrong verb form
drive
show examples
 car and purchase goods in faraway locations.It might
caused
Change the verb form
cause
be caused
show examples
 a lot of cars emission.These exhausts are definitely harmful to human bodies.Plus even the
town
Change noun form
town's
show examples
 air condition would
got
Change the verb form
get
be got
show examples
 worse.It is
bad
Add an article
the bad
a bad
show examples
 impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
earth
Change noun form
earth's
show examples
 environment.If citizens realized
mistakes
Correct pronoun usage
their mistakes
show examples
 and decrease drive times.The environment will be better than before.
Furthermore
,young
people
 have to buy a new car if small urban
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 stores were
canceled
Change the spelling
cancelled
show examples
.Those
people
 will face to
amounts
Fix the agreement mistake
amount
show examples
 of economic pressures.Meanwhile,They
also
 have to spend lots of
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
buying something.Not only cost them too much money but
also
 consume
people
 more energy.The elder
people
also
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 to solve plenty of difficulties.Because They can’t drive and do not live with their children.
Besides
,no more supermarkets are close to older
people
.And
this
 group of older
people
 will cause the most
harmful
Replace the word
harm
show examples
 for the benefit.
Secondly
,Local
town-center
Change the spelling
town-centre
show examples
 shops
are disappear
Change the verb form
are disappearing
show examples
 step by step.
This
 situation
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 to urban commercial trade data
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
going down.It may cause
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
city
Change noun form
city's
show examples
 economic degree is
decline
Correct your spelling
declined
show examples
.Living markets occupy
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
 economic in
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
 after all.
For example
,
people
 living in Beijing China which is a
city
 rapidly
development
Replace the word
developing
show examples
.These
people
 are capable of easily
find
Wrong verb form
finding
show examples
 more than two or three supermarkets around them.
Moreover
,with the development of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vehicle numbers raising in
this
city
.
People
 are likely to create sorts of accidents.
Such
 as:
broke
Wrong verb form
breaking
show examples
 down、
hits
Replace the word
hitting
show examples
 some
people
 or mammals、fuel explosion.Plus every year a large number of
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
was die
Change the verb form
was died
was dying
show examples
 or
injury
Replace the word
injured
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vehicle accidents.These problems are not good for the government and residents.If not have
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
 cars maybe
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 would be comfortable and peaceful.
For instance
,
common
Correct article usage
the common
show examples
 rural has fewer cars than
urban
Correct article usage
the urban
show examples
,plus has
much
Add an article
a much
show examples
 larger area.And
urban
Add an article
the urban
show examples
city
 of
high density
Add a hyphen
high-density
show examples
 vehicles
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 more accidents than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural
Correct pronoun usage
onesrural
show examples
. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will stand on my view that
this
 phenomenon more harms than
interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
show examples
.It is not only adverse for
people
 of different stages
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
 has more hurt in the government and
city
.
Submitted by 185584258 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: