IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

One problem faced by almost every large city is traffic congestion. What do you think the causes are? What solutions can you suggest?

#city #traffic #congestion
Traffic jams
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 common
problem
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 every big city. The main reason is that too many
people
going
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
 to job or
school
 at the same
time
. Even if would be a large road, drivers get stuck
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 certain area
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a certain
time
. The number of
people
 must be in places that are too far apart, so a car is a good option to solve
this
problem
. Workers and parents have
Add an article
a tool
the tool
show examples
tool
Fix the agreement mistake
tools
show examples
 to reach any point in the city, but
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
of
Correct quantifier usage
few of
show examples
 them is not able to change one variable – working
time
. Children need to be in
school
 before
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
first
 lesson and adults must be in a job before
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working
time
. Both types of
people
 are going to their places in the morning and return in the evening, so these times are rush hours. I used a car to get to the lesson, but I usually was late
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
school
 because of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 rush hour at eight o’clock. No matter if I used a bus, my city hasn’t separated
way
Correct article usage
the way
show examples
 for buses. The solution
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
problem
 is finding a
time
 to get to
place
Correct article usage
the place
show examples
 early
them
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
 others. Wake up an hour early is the simplest way to not get stuck on a road because
driver
Add an article
the driver
a driver
show examples
 is already going on to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work while others
just
Add a missing verb
are just
show examples
 take
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
breakfast.
Moreover
, early wake
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
time
 to
Correct your spelling
prepare
preparate
Correct your spelling
prepare
mood
Change preposition
for mood
show examples
 which is important to
worker
Add an article
the worker
a worker
show examples
 during the day. When I was a little boy, my parents woke me up
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
 morning to not be late
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
school
 and they
on
Add a missing verb
were on
show examples
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
 job. Rush hour is a general trouble
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
a large cities
Correct the article-noun agreement
a large city
large cities
show examples
. Amount of
people
 are got stuck on
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 road because of
this
problem
, but
everyone
Replace the word
every one
show examples
 can easily wake up
little
Add an article
a little
show examples
 bit earlier to solve
this
.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • urban population
  • public transportation
  • urban planning
  • infrastructure
  • economic strength
  • consumerism
  • car ownership
  • commuting
  • peak hours
  • public transit
  • carpooling
  • ride-sharing
  • remote work
  • flexible working hours
  • cycling infrastructure
  • congestion charges
  • traffic management systems
What to do next:
Look at other essays: