IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is recommended by some lawmakers to punish the parents in place of their children who have commited less serious crimes like disorderly conducts or theft. They say that this will force parents to become more responsible in taking care of their children. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

#lawmakers #parents #place #children #crimes #theft #force #care #support
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Some people suppose that criminal juveniles,
such
Linking Words
 as disorderly
conducts
Fix the agreement mistake
conduct
show examples
 or theft,
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 araising due to their
Use synonyms
parents’s
Remove the s
parents’
show examples
 faults. Lawmakers recommend punishing the
parents
Use synonyms
 for
Use synonyms
children’s
Correct pronoun usage
their children’s
show examples
 bad
behaviours
Use synonyms
 because it will force them to become more responsible in taking care of their
children
Use synonyms
. In some circumstances, I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement,
however
Linking Words
, from an ethical perspective, I think
children
Use synonyms
 should be taught to hold
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsibility
Replace the word
responsible
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their own
behaviours
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, it is true that
parents
Use synonyms
 have
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 main role
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Correct your spelling
raising
show examples
rasing
Correct your spelling
raising
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 and their
behaviours
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 the most of
kid’s
Fix the agreement mistake
kids’
show examples
 activities. They must teach
children
Use synonyms
 what is right and wrong so the kids can grow up as responsible people in society
instead
Linking Words
 of
become
Change the verb form
becoming
show examples
 juvenile offenders.
In other words
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
 ought to be aware of and control
actions
Correct article usage
the actions
show examples
 of their
children
Use synonyms
, they should accept the responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their involvement in crimes.
This
Linking Words
 fear will let the
parents
Use synonyms
 take care of their
children
Use synonyms
 more closely.
On the other hand
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, some people
Correct your spelling
argue
argur
Correct your spelling
argue
 that holding
parent’s
Change noun form
parents
show examples
 accountable for their
children
Use synonyms
’s crimes is a way of
Correct your spelling
blaming
blamming
Correct your spelling
blaming
, not trying to solve the problem. They
suppores
Correct your spelling
supports
suppose
support
 that
children
Use synonyms
 have their own way of behaviour that they want
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. Since
parents
Use synonyms
 take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their actions so they tend to blame
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
others
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their faults or bad
behaviours
Use synonyms
. To
Correct your spelling
summarize
sumarize
Correct your spelling
summarise
,
although
Linking Words
parents
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 responsible to supervise and fix
the
Change the word
their
show examples
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 bad
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
, they are not to blame for every one of their actions. These two concepts are not mutually exclusive, which
indicate
Correct subject-verb agreement
indicates
show examples
 that they ought to both be held accountable.
Submitted by buiphuongmai on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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