In some countries old people who retire from work spend the money on themselves (e.g. holiday) rather than save money for their children. Is this a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #work #money #e #g #holiday #children #development

In recent years, seniors have tended to spend their retirement finances rather than kids.

Instead

of accumulating wealth for the next generation, they spend their pension on fulfilling their own wishes like travelling and taking up a hobby. I believe it to be a positive trend as it is beneficial to both retired parents and their descendants . For retired parents, It demonstrates that older people are more aware of the value of their own. Mothers are willing to rank their offspring, necessitating unrestricted conditions compromise and sacrifice. They stick to the view that they are obliged to pinch and scrape in retirement to ensure there is something left behind for their heir.

However

, that attitude affects their quality of life. But, investing yourself is a much better life for retirees because they can pursue what they want without external restrictions. Their lives are improved and retirement emptiness and anxiety can take on a hobby; Travelling around the world teaches them to appreciate the beauty of nature puts them at ease and enhances their mental status.

they

Capitalize word

They

show examples

embrace the beauty of nature, feel more relaxed and obtain a better state of mind. Their kids, but, are allowed an opportunity to live to strive for their own happiness.

Although

Correct word choice

However

show examples

the lack of financial support from parents can add to the burden on the child. excessive financial support from the family is not helpful to individuals, because they can rely on their successor.

thus

lacking the ability to struggle for self-improvement. Realizing that they are the ones responsible for themselves, superior qualities like resilience and perseverance can be cultivated

confronting

Change preposition

by confronting

show examples

difficulties and overcoming obstacles with their own efforts. Saving money for children to spend on retirees themselves is an advance in the elderly’s mindset and a chance for the

young’s

Change preposition

young to

show examples

display their ability.

Submitted by 1339232976 on Thu Nov 10 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

301 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Some people consider prices as most important thing to think about when buying product (such as cell phone) or service (eg. medical treatment). Do you agree or disagree
In the modern days, video games are not strange with people, especially children. Video games are a common entertainment for children, it's a fun platform for children.
5
band
Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Smartphones create a breakthrough in human lives. People can get almost all of the information on this portable device, including weather forecasts, daily news, financial issues, and so on. In addition, people can connect with each other through a variety of social media by sending messages, making phone calls. What
5
band
In companies promotions to high positions should be given to employees inside the company , not to someone from outsiders or new hiring. Do you agree or disagree?
A group of individuals is inclined to think that senior-level posts should be allocated to the workers within the organisation instead of hiring freshers from the community. I, strongly agree with this notion. My position is justified further with reasons and examples.
7
band
Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animals. Is it justified or there is any alternative? To what extent do you agree or diagree?
It is argued by a group of individuals that animals are used for experiments and research purposes therefore it is harmful to those species and should be omitted from law. Whereas, the opposing group says that they are beneficial for many scientific studies. According to my view, it is good to use these animals instead of humans and I am in favour of the above statement. But there are exceptional cases like some animals are extinct hence they should not be utilized for such purposes.
9
band
In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.
There is a growing trend towards taking a gap year before entering tertiary education among school leavers in certain parts of the world. While it is true that such practice is not without its disadvantages, I would argue that the benefits of going to work or travelling before one embarks on college far outweighs these disadvantages.

In some countries old people who retire from work spend the money on themselves (e.g. holiday) rather than save money for their children. Is this a positive or negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people consider prices as most important thing to think about when buying product (such as cell phone) or service (eg. medical treatment). Do you agree or disagree

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In companies promotions to high positions should be given to employees inside the company , not to someone from outsiders or new hiring. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animals. Is it justified or there is any alternative? To what extent do you agree or diagree?

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.