IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

Films and games can be accessed at any time from mobile devices, like smartphones, tablets and laptop computers. Do advantages outweigh disadvantages.

#films #games #time #devices #smartphones #tablets #laptop #computers
Games
 and movies made at all on the moments to electric
Correct your spelling
devices
devies
Correct your spelling
devices
such
 as computers,laptops and tablets.
This
 essay will explain the merits
Correct your spelling
and
anda
Correct your spelling
and
 demerits of the given statement in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
 with, there are several merits behind
this
 .
Firstly
, people can get
Correct your spelling
a lot
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of knowledge and information through
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
films so these things are
very
Add an article
a very
the very
show examples
 useful community.
Moreover
,
games
 are
also
 good for
reliefing
Correct your spelling
relieving
 stress so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
this
 is beneficial for
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
.
On the other hand
, some of
demerits
Add an article
the demerits
show examples
 of
this
 like it is not good for health because of leading eyesight weak as well as even indoor
plays
Fix the agreement mistake
play
show examples
effective
Add a missing verb
is effective
show examples
 for children due to isolation
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the
games
.
Hence
, it is affecting
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
society. To conclude, it can be analysed from the above discussion
although
Correct word choice
that although
show examples
 there are abundant
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
advantages of watching movies and playing
games
,
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 drawbacks cannot be overlooked .
Submitted by jaspindergill3011 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: