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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that people moving to a new country should accept new culture in the foreign country. Others think that they should live as a separate minority group with different lifestyles. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #country #culture #minority #group #lifestyles
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 say that when
people
Use synonyms
moving
Wrong verb form
move
show examples
 to a new country, they should acknowledge their shelves with the
exist
Change the form of the verb
existing
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culture
Use synonyms
.
However
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, others believe that it can be
understanding
Wrong verb form
understood
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 if
people
Use synonyms
 choose to live differently as a minority.
For
Change preposition
Me
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me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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, I agree that
people
Use synonyms
 need to
Add an article
an allowed
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allowed
Wrong verb form
allow
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 new
Use synonyms
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
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 to adapt
with
Change preposition
to
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 others when they choose to move to a new place. On one hand, it can be difficult to
approved
Change the form of the verb
approve
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 something
that is
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 not in common. Unfortunately, when
people
Use synonyms
 decided to move to another country, they need to respect the underlying
culture
Use synonyms
 which has been
occur
Change the verb form
occurring
occurred
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 since
long
Correct article usage
a long
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 time ago. It is needed because
people
Use synonyms
 need to adapt
with
Change preposition
to
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 their
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
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 in order to have a harmonious life.
For example
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, in Japan,
take
Wrong verb form
taking
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 a bow when meeting
people
Use synonyms
 is become a habit to show
honor
Change the spelling
honour
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.
Thus
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, we should learn to do the same thing.
On the other hand
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, some
Use synonyms
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
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 may not suitable
with
Change preposition
for
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 our
believes
Replace the word
beliefs
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. If
this
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 kind of problem happens, it is understandable when
people
Use synonyms
 cannot follow the same thing as what the
culture
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 lies.
Nevertheless
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,
people
Use synonyms
 should still show respect
to
Change preposition
for
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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differences.
For instance
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, when
Change the capitalization
Muslim
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muslim
Correct your spelling
Muslims
 move to
western
Add an article
a western
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area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 like
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
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, especially Amsterdam city. Amsterdam city has a nickname called "
City
Correct article usage
The City
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 of Sin" because they allowed citizens to do illegal things
such
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 as drugs.
Therefore
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, there is no obligation for
Change the capitalization
Muslim
Muslims
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muslim
Correct your spelling
Muslims
 to do that and so are they have to learn to live
how
Correct word choice
and how
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 to deal with
this
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culture
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. In conclusion, it is fine to not make
the
Correct article usage
apply
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culture
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as
Change preposition
apply
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a behaviour.
Nonetheless
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,
people
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 have to accept, respect
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and adapt
with
Change preposition
to
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 it according to
humanity
Change noun form
humanity's
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 reasons.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • integration: The process of combining into an integral whole; cultural or social integration into a new society.
  • harmonious: Marked by agreement in feeling, attitude, or action.
  • cultural exchange: The sharing and learning of different cultural practices and ideas among groups.
  • identity: The fact of being who or what a person or thing is; cultural identity relates to a sense of belonging to a culture.
  • multicultural: Relating to or including many different cultures.
  • assimilation: The process of taking in and fully integrating into another culture.
  • diversity: The inclusion of different types of people with different traits or cultures in a group or organization.
  • cultural understanding: Awareness and acceptance of different cultures.
  • minority group: A group of people who differ from the larger group in a society based on cultural, ethnic, religious, or linguistic traits.
  • cultural preservation: The act of maintaining and protecting cultural beliefs, practices, and languages.
  • social cohesion: The bonds or ‘glue’ that bring people in a society together.
  • cultural adaptation: Adjusting and adapting to a new culture without completely abandoning one's own cultural practices.
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