IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Government invest in the arts such as music and theatre is a waste of money. Government must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#government #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #services
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The question
on
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of
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 where the
Government
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 should invest funds is debatable. Some believe that investing in entertainment is profitable
however
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 others suggest that these funds should rather be invested in public
services
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.
This
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 essay will discuss why the
Government
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 should opt to invest money in public
services
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. When a
government
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 chooses to invest in public
services
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 it aids a community in numerous ways, making life for
it’s
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its
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 citizens easy to adapt to.
For
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instance
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,instance
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 a research paper from the Francis George Institute quoted that after the
government
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 had
finally
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 decided to provide a number of buses (20) for The Volin Community, more children were able to attend classes on time.
Furthermore
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, health is very vital for life
thus
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 when the
government
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 takes the initiative to invest in
this
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 sector it reduces the need of going abroad to seek better treatments and cuts costs.
For example
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 due to the high costs of medical expenses, because of health insurance available to each and every
citizens
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citizen
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 of a country, people tend to spend less money
for
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on
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 their hospital bills. An argument against the
government
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 investing in public
services
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 is because of how costly it can be for the
government
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especially
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,especially
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 in remote areas where populations tend to be less in number.
However
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,
i
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I
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 would argue that regardless of how much it takes the
government
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 to develop
it’s
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its
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 country it is
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 duty to make sure that people have access to basic necessities,
to
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apply
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name a few: electricity and water. In conclusion, while
i
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I
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 acknowledge how costly it is for the
government
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 to invest in areas with relatively low populations, I would argue that those investments not only better life for
it’s
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its
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 people but
also
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 develop the country as a whole.
Submitted by gaybrelljess99 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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