IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory part of high school programmes. do you agree or diagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #diagree
It has been suggested that pupils should be forced to accomplish unpaid services as a program in high schools. most of the colleges are already providing opportunities to gain job experience .
However
, these are not compulsory. I agree with
this
 statement to a large extent due to communication skills enhancement and identifying the
work
 environment. Some people believe that not only do voluntary
work
 not appropriate for that age group, but
also
 it is too early for them to learn about jobs.
However
, I refuse to think that since all necessary skills which are useful for the rest of their life must be thought in schools.
In addition
, some experts argue that these sorts of
work
 should be mandatory in the education system.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 it has several beneficial aspects for students .
For instance
, increasing their self-confidence , practising teamwork and learning how to manage their time. Nowadays, unfortunately, teenagers are not interested in after-school activities and they prefer to sit in front of the tv , browse the internet and play video games.
Furthermore
, it will be better if they earn some money
besides
 working because it motivates them to perform more effort .
Also
, they will realise that it is not easy to earn money and they will learn to save and spend them in a particular way. Another reason is that it could reduce the crime level if young pupils have creative activities to do . So , they will not be bored and come up with unsuitable ideas which are dangerous for them. To conclude, in my opinion, it is the best way to support the young generation's future by encouraging them to gain
work
 experience from high school.
This
 program should be put into the school's schedule as soon as possible.
Submitted by anitashayegan1383 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: