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Band 4

Adults today do not do enough exercise. Some people believe that showing major sports events like the Olympics or the Football World Cup on television encourages people to exercise. Others argue that there are better ways to encourage adults to move more. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#adults #exercise #people #sports #events #olympics #football #world #cup #television #move
In the fast-moving and developing modern world,it has become more difficult to find time for your own needs, especially for physical
activities
. Some individuals think that broadcasting popular sports games can motivate adults to do exercises while others claim that there exist different approaches which stimulate
people
 to take sports and choose a healthy
lifestyle
.
This
 essay will discuss both sides and prove that various ways mostly encourage mature
people
 to do physical
activities
. On the one hand, proponents of the argument claim that well-known games are able to drive
people
 to choose a healthy
lifestyle
.
For instance
, most football fans are imitating the
lifestyle
 of their idols and want to resemble them.
Thus
, in order to look like Cristiano Ronaldo, they start to go to the gym.
Although
 there exists an opposite side, as most
people
 can get rid of
this
 idea due to difficulties
such
 as working on themselves and throwing habits and a sedentary
lifestyle
.
On the other hand
, there are quite various ways to make
people
 do sport. One of the most effective ways is the influence of the
government
. By enacting proper laws, the
government
 is able to encourage
people
 to take physical
activities
.
For example
, in
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
Netherlands
Add a comma
,Netherlands
show examples
 a special program
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
people
 to give up cars and replace them with cycling and walking. In order to do
this
, the
government
 has been working with an educational organization, giving special training that
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 to improve the awareness of
people
 about health.
In addition
 to
this
, infrastructure and transport systems have been altered
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and appeared a significant amount of bicycle roads, and the rent of
cycle
Correct article usage
the cycle
show examples
 become cheaper, even for free.
As a result
,
people
 not only become healthier and move more
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 preserve their environment. In conclusion, even though televising
world’s
Correct article usage
the world’s
show examples
 well-known Sports festivals
motivates
Change the verb form
motivate
show examples
 mature
people
 to do physical
activities
, properly organized laws and
impact
Correct article usage
the impact
show examples
 of
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 make
people
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
take
sport
Add an article
a sport
show examples
that is
 twice beneficial. (315 words)
Submitted by bekzodeshonjonovv on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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