Today people move away from their friends and family for work. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #move #friends #work

Nowadays, individuals choose to live and work far from their friends and family. Despite some obvious disadvantages of

this

trend, I believe that these are outweighed by the advantages. On the one hand, some

people

have to live in a new environment where there are many strangers or different cultures in

this

area. It is hard to find assistance in financial or daily life activities.

For instance

, there are no strangers willing to lend money when other

people

run out of money.

Furthermore

, some individuals might feel a different culture when

people

move from urban areas to cosmopolitan cities because

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cosmopolitan citizens live more modern and fast than

urban

Change preposition

in urban

show examples

areas.

On the other hand

,I believe that there are advantages that outweigh the disadvantages.

people

could find new friends to extend relationships in society at new places they live.

Moreover

, some youngsters could pursue

high - income

Correct your spelling

high-income

show examples

careers in metropolitan cities while their jobs near family could not offer in urban areas.

Furthermore

, some

people

could achieve their dreams or goals at places where they find

knowledges

Change the wording

knowledge

pieces of knowledge

bits of knowledge

show examples

experiences

Correct word choice

and experiences

show examples

. In conclusion, I think living far from family and friends brings

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people

the merits outweigh the demerits. Each individual should have an independent life

which

Correct word choice

show examples

they wish.

Submitted by josynguyen92 on Sun Nov 13 2022

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for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

206 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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