Using a computer every day can have more negative that positive effects on young children. Do you agree or disagree?

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While

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some people think using an electronic device ,especially every day is not bad for humans and even is very useful for them, other public,

as well as

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many experts, believe that utilising a lot of time has a more negative effect on people. Let me discuss my opinion in the following paragraphs.

To begin

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with, I should say that since the citizenry has different views and opinions towards each other, there has always been disagreement on

this

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matter.

For instance

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, some citizens think that using a computer is essential for them and they are addicted to electronic worlds.

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Although

Correct word choice

However

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, they prefer to do their job and shopping or each work with a computer because they believe

laptop

Fix the agreement mistake

laptops

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aid us to have an easier life.

On the other hand

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, if I want to talk about the mindset and beliefs of the second category, I have to say that they think utilizing a long date and every day is completely bad for the family.

For example

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, after some time we will get lazy and do less physical activity and

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also

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apply

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it is really perilous for everyone.

Moreover

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, sometimes we do have not good internet and it is

huge

Correct article usage

a huge

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problem.

However

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, they know that electronic device is an integral part of life. In conclusion, if I want to express my opinion I should say since I have already researched and read about

this

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issue , I have to say that

it is clear that

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the best solution for

this

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topic is for the government and people to trust the experts that I completely agree with

this

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of using a computer every day can have a more negative effect for users.

Submitted by saeedforoghi538 on Sun Nov 13 2022

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task response

Develop your ideas more coherently and support them with relevant examples. Ensure that your essay fully addresses the prompt and provides clear, comprehensive ideas.

coherence and cohesion

Work on structuring your essay more logically. Ensure that your introduction and conclusion clearly present your main points and ideas.

12
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Screen time
Sedentary lifestyle
Physical inactivity
Cognitive development
Internet addiction
Cyberbullying
Inappropriate content
Digital literacy
Virtual learning environments
Parental controls
Moderation
Online safety
Tech-savvy
E-learning
Information technology
Eye strain
Social skills
Multitasking
Interactive education
Health repercussions

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