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Films and computer games containing violence are popular. Some people say they have negative effects on society and should be banned. Others say they are just harmless relaxation. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#films #computer #games #violence #people #effects #society #relaxation
There is a fact that in recent days, movies and
computer
games
 containing
violence
 are common in
society
. While some people argue that it has negative impacts on individuals and
society
 and should be banned, others believe that these activities are just useful relaxation. From my perspective, I
agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
show examples
 these views and would discuss both views in
this
 essay. On the one hand, the main reason for
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 films and
computer
games
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
society
 is that
children
 tend to learn easily violent actions and do
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 things from these
games
 or movies.
For example
, these
games
 containing
violence
 , especially counterstrike, create
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dramatical
Replace the word
dramatic
show examples
violence
 and interest for
children
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 want to try their
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
show examples
 in real life. The
second
 reason for
that is
 gaming addiction is more popular
for
Change preposition
among
show examples
children
.
As a result
,
children
 are lazy to do outside activities and they would have
obesse
Correct your spelling
obese
obsessed
.
On the other hand
, the
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
 for
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 films and
computer
games
 on
society
 is that
children
 may recharge their energy after playing these
games
.
Furthermore
, these violent
games
 and movies , especially
games
 may help make new friends for them because of online
connecting
Replace the word
connections
show examples
 and
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 flexibility in
brain
Add an article
the brain
show examples
 for
children
. In conclusion,
although
 films and
computer
games
 containing
violence
 have negative effects on
society
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
also
, these may help
children
 in some roles of useful relaxation and I agree
Submitted by jakedth162 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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