IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

INTERSTING ASPECTS TO RECOGNIZE CAUSES OF CANCER AND APROACH TO AVOID TI

#aspects #cancer #aproach #ti
Is important to emphasize in the set of
causes
 of
cancer
 more relevant at all heights, major risk factors in the lifestyle
habits
such
 as
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unhealthy
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unhealth
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unhealthy
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 diet, tobacco use, alcohol consumption,
drugs
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drug
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 consumption, physical inactivity,
extreme
Correct word choice
and extreme
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 exposure to
sun
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the sun
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. Nowadays, close to 30% of deaths are due to
cancer
, and most
cancer
 figures are related to bad
habits
 and inappropriate
behavior
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behaviour
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 in lifestyle. “According to ACS research, at least 42% of the projected new cancers are potentially avoidable.
This
 includes 19% of cancers that are caused by smoking and at least 18% that are caused by a combination of excess body weight, drinking alcohol, poor nutrition, and physical inactivity” (American
Cancer
 Society, 2022). It is imperative to greatly improve healthy eating
habits
, and extremely important
avoid
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to avoid
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 the consumption of liquor, drugs and tobacco if
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people want to have
healthy
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a healthy
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 life. The above,
because
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is because
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 all of these
contribute
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contributions
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with
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to
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 systematic damage in the body, exposing the cells to generate changes, and not necessarily good. Even if the population have or
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is not
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not
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no
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Add an article
a predisposition
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predisposition
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predisposed
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 to
cancer
, the mentioned factors generate a substantial risk as
cause
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the cause
a cause
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 of
this
 disease. In summary,
eliminate
Wrong verb form
eliminating
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cancer
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cancer's
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effect
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effects
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in
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on
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the
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apply
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life depends on each people if control each possible
causes
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cause
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, the future is now with health and good life respect. Humanity has in its hands the tools to reduce
risk
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the risk
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 of
cancer
 with
high
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a high
the high
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 level of awareness
,
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apply
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 and identifying the ways
avoid
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to avoid
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 it. It has been demonstrated that
to define
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defining
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 the different
causes
 of
cancer
 is meaningfully important to find a settlement of
this
 critical problem. Analyzing
causes
Correct article usage
the causes
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 of
cancer
 from all the factors mentioned, it is imperative to explain that
cancer
 is not the only effect, it is not even a final effect, because there is a correlation in other effects
such
 as death or various damage to people´s health. Between 30 to 50% of
cancer
 could
be prevent
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be prevented
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 currently, if everyone knows and is very clear about the
causes
 of
cancer
, and if good health
habits
 are
remained
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retained
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. A better knowledge
around
Change preposition
of
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 the
causes
 of
cancer
 not just could help humanity to prevent it, but
also
in
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apply
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very likely get a cure
of
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for
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 it, regardless of whether it comes from genetic problems. To sum up, early diagnosis of any kind of
cancer
 symptoms
is
Change the verb form
are
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 relevant to reduce delays in treatments or supportive care that save
life’s
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lives
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Submitted by iqmiguelangel on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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