With the development of online communication, people will never be alone and will always be able to make new friends.

#development #communication #people #friends

These days, not only every

technologies

Change to a singular noun

technology

show examples

but

also

online communication is increasing day by day. So, our life is being

easily

Change the word

easy

show examples

and we have many opportunities through

online

Add an article

an online

show examples

connection

, as well, it has its benefits and drawbacks. In

this

essay, it will be considered about its with examples. On the one hand, one of the benefits of online

connection

is that it brings close people closer to people far away.

For example

, my brother is studying in Russia and my family members and I talk with

his

Correct pronoun usage

him

show examples

almost every day through online communication, as well,

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

helps to save money and

time

Moreover

, it can make close

friends

through it.

For instance

, these days, I am using the SPEAK PAL program and I have the best chance through

this

program

for

Change preposition

show examples

make

Correct your spelling

foreign

forigen

Correct your spelling

foreign

, close

friends

and speak in English with these

friends

Therefore

, online social

connection

is prevented alone leisure

time

On the other hand

, one of the drawbacks of online

relation

Fix the agreement mistake

relations

show examples

is that it is

get

Wrong verb form

getting

show examples

away from real life because some populations use it so much,

as a result

, of which they do not have enough

time

for their family.

For example

, I can use it too much,

however

, I do not have enough

time

for other homework and family.

Besides

friends

we met through online

relation

Fix the agreement mistake

relations

show examples

can not do anything for us except talk.

For example

, we can not spend

free

Correct pronoun usage

our free

show examples

time

with

Correct pronoun usage

ourselves

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

relax and can not meet when we want.

However

, we can

enjoying

Change the verb form

enjoy

be enjoying

show examples

in extra

time

with real

friends

. In conclusion, today the Internet is necessary for

connection

and humans can use it effectively. I think

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

it will have a good effect on their lives.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Mon Nov 14 2022

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

connectivity
geographical gaps
interact
social media platforms
messaging apps
revolutionized
physical distance
online communities
camaraderie
immediate surroundings
unparalleled opportunities
superficial relationships
excessive reliance
emotional warmth
tactile comfort
digital communication
digital divide
internet censorship
global connectivity

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With the development of online communication, people will never be alone and will always be able to make new friends.

Your opinion

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Establishing good relationships in the workplace is not important, as the primary goal of every person is to focus on work. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Some educators believe that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Tha chart and table below give information about population figures in Japan