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Band 5

In many countries, paying for things using mobile app is becoming increasingly common. Does this development are having more advantages or disadvantages?

#countries #app #development
In recent times, paying
payments
 with mobile phones
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 become very widespread. Payment for purchased items has been developed all over the world, whether
developed
Change preposition
in developed
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 or developing countries, in
this
 essay, I will talk about all the benefits of using digital payment, as well as its disadvantages.
To begin
 with, millions of people all around the world use digital
payments
 for myriads of matters, like school
fee
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fees
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, electricity bills or shopping stuff. And
this
help
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helps
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 them to save time and money,
for example
Add a comma
,
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people can buy whatever they want only with their phone and in a few minutes
instead
 of standing in
a
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apply
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long traffic or driving a long way,
also
 they can save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
time for meaningful progress,
Furthermore
, people can buy everything from another country and they just received it at home,
for instance
, you can sit at you home in America and buy something that you want from Australia and
then
 have it a few days later .
Nevertheless
, there is a security
risks
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risk
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 while doing network
payments
, recently in some
country
Add a comma
,country
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 there
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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some thieves who can
hacked
Change the verb form
hack
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 bank accounts and have access to your money and you can easily
lost
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lose
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 your funds ,
moreover
 , there is some issues with delivery Due to the lack of updates of postal companies and long routes,
for example
, one of my friends order something from Germany and after 2 months it has not been delivered yet. In conclusion, I firmly believe that
although
this
 technological development has increased fraud the benefits of online
payments
,
such
 as time-saving and the growth of an economy, are way more than
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
show examples
.
Submitted by maryammohseni7596 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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