IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

in their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #emphasise #products #development
Companies try to convince customers that their products are novel
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 their
Correct your spelling
advertisement
advertisment
Correct your spelling
advertising
. As far as I am concerned
this
 is a positive development due to the reasons I am going to put forward in the following paragraphs.
To begin
 with, I believe if some companies want to display their outcomes as a new usage, they will become more creative and innovate new things to have some things to show to audiences. By way of example, they do not need to change the whole product, it is enough to add a small feature which paves the way more than past. So you should not do anything strange,
however
, these works are in accordance with huge improvement but in a
gradually
Change the adverb
gradual
show examples
 process.
On the other hand
, it is obvious if you are better than others, you will sell more than them. Gone are the days when you constructed a novel product and based on you were the pioneer, everyone bought from you and you had a monopoly of that specific good. These days you should make a lot of
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
 to be the best and individuals choose you among all providers while they are purchasing . You should advertise in a way that sticks
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 everyone’s mind. To conclude, it is crystal clear that if someone wants to illustrate a product has something to say, they should improve it. These small innovations contribute to huge growth.
Although
, if they demonstrate their results better, they gain more attention and profit. According to what I maintained these advertisements will cause positive development for that company and throughout the industry.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
What to do next:
Look at other essays: