Title :Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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Health issues from consuming excessive amounts of sugar are the main concern in many countries. There are people

believing

Wrong verb form

who believe

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that high levels of sugary foods could give rise to a plethora of adverse effects on our lives, and it is crucial that governments should raise taxes on these items in order to reduce consumption. For my part, I side with the advocates of the former to a larger extent based on the following sound reasons.

Firstly

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, it is noteworthy that the number of patients who suffer from obesity will decrease rapidly.

For example

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, it is tremendously necessary for governments to introduce policies that focus mainly on increasing the tax the sugary commodities so that the process of making the products will rise respectively.

As a result

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, they probably reckon that it does not deserve to pay a higher price and gradually forget the representation of that food.

Secondly

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, when prices are ascending, most clients tend to seek other

substitutions

Correct your spelling

substitutes

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to consume.

This

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belief could be attributed to the fact that the natural ingredients will be composed by clients rather than artificial sweets.

Thus

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, it has considerable benefits for their immune system.

For instance

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, when a sweet drink is highly expensive, consumers transform to choosing fresh foods, namely lemonade or watermelon. The most vital is that those meet the demands of the flavours. In summary, I am convinced that abundant manufactured food and drink products include a high level of sucrose, which leads to many serious health issues.

Therefore

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, the government should be aware of the issue at hand and prompt the tax on

such

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products.

dungnguyenMon Nov 14 2022

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coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure of the essay to enhance coherence and cohesion.

task achievement

Provide a more explicit stance on whether you agree or disagree with the prompt and support your position throughout the essay.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

manufactured food
drink products
high levels of sugars
health problems
sugary products
made more expensive
encourage consumption
public health
reformulate
lower-income families
education and awareness campaigns
excessive sugar consumption
sugar taxes
subsidize
healthier food options

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Title :Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think is a possible solution?

In the future people will read only online and no one will buy printed newspapers. to what extent do you agree od disagree?

Nowadays, more and more jobs and tasks are done by machines which involve hard physical work. Do the positive effects of this trend outweigh the negative effects?

Do the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages