Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are controversial perspectives heating up a debate
whether
Change preposition
about whether
show examples
it is vital for the authority to cash in
Use synonyms
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
care and education
system
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
some claim that spending on
both
Use synonyms
mentioned facets is essential for the governor, the opposite makes a statement that it is not their accountability.
While
Linking Words
each has its own perks, I would contend that it is optimal to combine
both
Use synonyms
mentioned elements. Without a shadow of a doubt, the government should invest in
medical
Add an article
the medical
show examples
system
Use synonyms
and schooling. Because everyone knows the significance of the educational
system
Use synonyms
and the medical care.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it can
also
Linking Words
enhance the economy
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
the country.
For example
Linking Words
, some nations which have developed
economy
Change the noun form
economies
show examples
such
Linking Words
as Germany,
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
or the United States, always provide scholarships to abroad students who need a wealth of money to study overseas or give
health
Use synonyms
insurances
Fix the agreement mistake
insurance
show examples
to their citizens.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is crucial for the authority to pour money into those two backbone industries.
While
Linking Words
the imperativeness of financial investment in education and medical care of the governor is widely acknowledged, they should not purchase entirely for
both
Use synonyms
mentioned aspects. Because the government’s budget is not enough, they have to spend money on other fields and the residents should pay for it since it will help the settlers to have accountability for revamping their awareness of protecting their
health
Use synonyms
and maintaining their studying quality.
For instance
Linking Words
, some fields
such
Linking Words
as constructing facilities, expanding entertainment industries or refining tourism can be cited as compelling examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
other aspects
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which need to be squandered by the
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
. If the governor
fund
Correct subject-verb agreement
funds
show examples
entire
Correct article usage
the entire
show examples
of it, people who have bad habits which affect directly
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
health
Use synonyms
or people who drop out of school can
also
Linking Words
gain the benefits which is unfair to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others.
Thus
Linking Words
, the cost
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
both
Use synonyms
mentioned systems should not be purchased completely by the government. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
the investment in
medical
Add an article
the medical
show examples
system
Use synonyms
and schooling is indispensable for the financial development of a nation, those expenditures should not be funded entirely by national
coffer
Fix the agreement mistake
coffers
show examples
.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Enhance the clarity and specificity of your examples: While you mentioned countries like Germany, the Netherlands, or the United States as examples of financial investment in healthcare and education, providing more detailed and concrete examples would make your argument stronger. Instead of broadly stating that these countries provide scholarships or health insurance, try to offer specific programs, their impacts, and how they support your argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical coherence: The essay generally follows a coherent structure but can benefit from tighter logical connections between paragraphs. Use transitional phrases to better link paragraphs and clarify how each part of your argument contributes to your overall stance. This will enhance the reader's ability to follow your reasoning.
task achievement
Address counterarguments more effectively: While you mentioned the viewpoint opposing government funding, exploring this perspective in greater depth and detailing why it may be considered, yet ultimately arguing against it with evidence, would strengthen your overall argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental human rights
  • boosts the country's economy
  • productivity
  • public funding
  • equality and accessibility
  • socio-economic status
  • privatized
  • disparities
  • prioritize
  • people's well-being
  • inefficiencies
  • bureaucratic challenges
  • mixed approach
  • optimize
  • quality
  • availability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: