Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?

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There are controversial ideas heating up a debate
whether
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about whether
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the governor ought to cash into the
health
care and education
system
or not.
While
some claim that they had better pour money into the medical and academic
system
, the opposite makes a statement money had better be not poured. I would contend that investing in those facets is of the essence of the lawmakers, but they should pay partially. Without a shadow of a doubt, it is vital that the authority should support financially for medical care. It’s indispensable to improve the qualities of the inhabitants’ professional
labor
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labour
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and physical
health
which are crucial factors in order to flourish the national economy.
For instance
, Germany, Finland, and Holland are cited as the most examples of economically developing countries that pursue college without fees and provide medical insurance to dwellers.
Hence
, allocating absolutely into
2
Correct article usage
the 2
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mentioned systems is the governors’ necessity.
While
the essence of financial support in schooling and the medical
system
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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widely acknowledged, they ought not to pay totally to these facets. The explanation for
this
could be that the national coffer is not allowed because it
have
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has
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to make
investment
Fix the agreement mistake
investments
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in other factors, so settlers have to pay which can make them become more responsible and raise awareness of protecting their
health
and ensure the quality of studying.
For instance
, building facilities, blooming tourism and strengthening entertainment are three of the most remarkable examples of alternative fields
which
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in which
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the government’s funds must be invested
in
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apply
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. If the state spends money totally, people who are in society’s vices or dropping out of school
are
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also benefit
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also
benefit, thereby
this
leads to unfairness to the counterpart.
Therefore
, all costs of schooling and
health
care are not essential for the government to pay. In conclusion,
while
the financial support of the educational and medical
system
is the essence of a nation, that mentioned payment ought not to be suffered completely by the government’s fund.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay is clearly structured with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should revolve around one main idea to enhance logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to show the connections between ideas more clearly. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Address the prompt fully by providing a rounded discussion on why and to what extent the government should fund healthcare and education, ensuring all parts of the question are answered.
task achievement
Incorporate more varied and detailed examples to strengthen your arguments. Specific instances and facts can make your case more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Work on paraphrasing the essay prompt more effectively in your introduction to avoid repetition and demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental human rights
  • boosts the country's economy
  • productivity
  • public funding
  • equality and accessibility
  • socio-economic status
  • privatized
  • disparities
  • prioritize
  • people's well-being
  • inefficiencies
  • bureaucratic challenges
  • mixed approach
  • optimize
  • quality
  • availability
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