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Band 7

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #work #organisation #life #organisations
Nowadays, with the availability of better job opportunities, some
people
 believe in working for different organizations to gain a better understanding of the industry.
However
, others prefer working for the same organization throughout their professional career. These debatable thoughts have been discussed
along with
 my opinion in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
,
people
 working in the same organization for longer durations develop a sense of belongingness and attain stature. To exemplify-
people
 working in the same industry get well-versed in its norms, helping them in better decision-making.
Additionally
, the comfort of working in the same business leads to a better work-life balance as the habit of working in a certain environment creates a maintained routine.
Conversely
, with the advancement in globalisation, better job opportunities have now become accessible and provide exposure to employees who prefer working in a challenging environment.
For instance
- the increase in the number of multinational corporations operating globally has enabled
people
 the opportunity to experience the culture of different nations
while
 working from their own country.
Furthermore
, switching jobs helps in attaining promotions
as well as
 better perks which might be a vital factor for an individual. In my opinion- both ways of working have their own set of benefits
as well as
 drawbacks. Even though pro-longed employment with a single organization offers more comfort
yet
Rephrase
apply
show examples
exploring new opportunities in the initial years of a career helps in better exposure and development.
To conclude
- even though switching jobs at periodic intervals might result in reaching higher positions and attaining responsibilities at a young level
yet
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
one should always evaluate a prospective job in all aspects in order to become a better professional
as well as
 develop better relationships with their employers.
Submitted by mohikabhatia.97 on

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Task Response
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents a balanced view of both perspectives. To improve further, ensure that your arguments are more detailed, providing specific examples and elaborating on each point.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay shows good coherence and cohesion with a well-structured introduction and conclusion. It also effectively presents the main points and supports them coherently throughout the essay. To enhance this further, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to create more sophisticated connections between ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Longevity
  • Corporate ladder
  • Adaptability
  • Comfort zone
  • Professional network
  • Diverse skill set
  • Industry exposure
  • Innovation
  • Resilience
  • Seniority
  • Job market
  • Career trajectory
  • Company culture
  • Professional growth
  • Job security
  • Promotion prospects
  • Cross-functional experience
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