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Writing Samples
Band 6

Should wealthy people be obliged to share their financial success with poor people by supporting health services and education, or is this the responsibility of the poor to improve their own standard of living? Give your opinion.

#people #success #health #services #education #responsibility
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It is believed by some
people
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 that it is mandatory for the rich to share their
money
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 with the poor in the way that the rich help to provide health care and education whereas others claim that the poor take responsibility for themselves to make their standard of living better. In my opinion, wealthy
people
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 should contribute to improving the standard of living of the poor by providing necessities for them. I have two reasons to support my opinion, which I will explore in the following essay.
To begin
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 with, the rich should be forced to divide their financial results with the poor.
This
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 is based on the fact that the
people
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 who are financially successful would not have been able to be where they are without other
people
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.
For example
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, no successful businessmen can exist without their consumers who are willing to buy what the businessmen produce.
In addition
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, it is true that other
members
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 of one society deserve support from successful
members
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. Someone who achieved financial success would have necessarily employed all the infrastructure made from the
money
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 which is collected from almost all
members
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
This
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 means that their success can be attributed to the rest of the
members
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, which makes it reasonable to share their profits with others. In conclusion, I firmly believe that wealthy
members
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 are obliged to share their
money
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 with needy ones by helping to provide education and health services.
This
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 is because one's financial success cannot be achieved without other
members
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 of
societies
Fix the agreement mistake
society
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and because infrastructures are made from the
money
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that is
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 obtained from most citizens in societies.
Submitted by taeheecute12 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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