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Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays people depend on technology for leisure activities. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #technology #leisure #activities #development
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In
this
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 modern day and age, thanks to the proliferation of ample high-tech means of recreation,
people
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 might opt for using electronic
devices
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 in their free
time
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. It is my firm belief that
this
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 trend has both merits and demerits. On the
one
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 hand, it is easy to see the diversity of entertaining activities when using
technology
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devices
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. Several entertainment applications could be downloaded and
one
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 can use their own personal cell
phone
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 in order to kill
time
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 using those apps.
Besides
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, surfing social media has become
one
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 of the most common activities online.
As a result
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, lots of
people
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 might spend hours scrolling social media platforms.
Moreover
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,
technology
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 has widespread accessibility. Only with a wifi-connected
phone
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 can
people
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 access the internet everywhere and many entertaining activities can be done with the internet.
For example
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,
one
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 can watch almost all videos on YouTube,
one
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 of the most famous video-streaming websites, as long as they own a
phone
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 which is connected to the wifi.
On the other hand
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, there are lots of downsides to spending
time
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 on
technology
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 for recreational purposes.
To begin
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 with, using
technology
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devices
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 for a long period might cause many health issues. Being affected by the blue light of several electronic
devices
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 for hours may lead to the result of eye problems.
Also
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,
people
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 often opt for sitting or lying on their bed using phones or tablets and
this
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 can be the main reason for the sedentary lifestyle.
Additionally
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, not only health but
also
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 social life is negatively affected. When
one
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 uses their
phone
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 too much, they often tend to not communicate with others and after a long period of not contacting other
people
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, they may find it difficult to make friends. In conclusion, due to the development of
technology
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, individuals select electronic
devices
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 in their free
time
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. I am firmly convinced that
this
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 trend shows both upsides and downsides.
Submitted by huynhtrucminhthu39 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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