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Band 4

Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime, while others feel that crime is being tackled effectively now. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#believe #action #crime
Crime
 has always been a concerning issue in many societies. Despite that, some hold the view that
crime
 is being dealt with effectively, though other people call for more measures to alleviate it. I personally agree with the latter view. To start, it is fair to say that law enforcers have achieved some degree of success in the way of combating
crime
.
This
 is primarily thanks to advances in technology in recent years. While in the past law enforcement was rather limited due to distance and manpower issues, today modern technology can be used to enforce
law
Add an article
the law
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 on a much larger scale without actual human presence. More specifically,
introduction
Add an article
the introduction
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 of CCTV cameras, radars, drones and other similar equipment has enabled
detection
Correct article usage
the detection
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 and prevention of
crime
 in
real time
Add a hyphen
real-time
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. In
this
 sense, it can be deduced that
crime
 is no longer a major issue in many countries. Convincing as it may sound, the argument for improvement in
crime
 prevention has its shortcomings.
First
 of all, I believe technology, as well as helping avoid
crime
, has enabled it in ways which were not possible before. People can now use computers to organize
crime
 in bigger contexts
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and even execute terrorist attacks virtually as well as in the physical world. Shutting down
of
Change preposition
apply
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electricity grids, hospitals, banks, and banking websites
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 a good case in point. On top of that, rising unemployment has contributed to
growing
Correct article usage
a growing
show examples
crime
 rate, which necessitates more stringent measures to clamp down on
crime
. Having considered the
crime
 problem from both angles, I am more inclined to say that fight against
crime
, if anything, should be bolstered in response to
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
show examples
crime
 rate from unemployment and technology-aided
crime
.
Submitted by muhammednabeel1566 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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