Having more international sports events may promote world peace. It`s agree or disagree question.

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Actually
Add a comma
,Actually
show examples
around the
world
Use synonyms
, international sports events
are grow
Change the verb form
are growing
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very fast because
internet
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of internet
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networks and social media evolution.
In addition
Linking Words
to the entertainment
what
Correct word choice
that
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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sports provide to the entire global earth in some
aspects
Add a comma
,aspects
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my opinion is
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
peace
Use synonyms
importance is above all the
world
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shows, because
that
Correct word choice
apply
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I believe the
expand
Replace the word
expansion
show examples
of present events and scenarios can help to improve global
peace
Use synonyms
and give access to the interactive spots for all
human kind
Correct your spelling
humankind
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around the
world
Use synonyms
. In comparison between the
Correct your spelling
developed
developer
develope
Correct your spelling
developed
countries
Use synonyms
and developing country in
Linking Words
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
case
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
pacefully
Correct your spelling
peacefully
peaceful
because the people have more scenarios and sports shows all the time
however
Linking Words
in the developing
countries
Use synonyms
are
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
shows and scenarios, that impact is make a big difference in the way how the
human kind
Correct your spelling
humankind
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perceives happiness and
peace
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personally. If the governments work together to help the rise of
that events
Change the determiner
that event
those events
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in the poor
countries
Use synonyms
, the kind of actions will be establishing a new way to share
Correct your spelling
different
show examples
differents
Correct your spelling
different
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forms
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
peace
Use synonyms
implements and
manteinance
Correct your spelling
maintenance
order and equality laws and
consequently
Linking Words
grow the level
quality
Change preposition
of quality
show examples
and
peace
Use synonyms
. To conclude I
am agree
Change the verb form
agree
show examples
because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sport is the fastest way to get
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
equity between all the
countries
Use synonyms
in the
world
Use synonyms
, no matter religion, social level, money and more.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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