IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages
Music
 is one of the most
Correct your spelling
relevant
prelevant
Correct your spelling
relevant
 forms of art which cannot only heal
people
's pain but
also
 bring them close to each other. I myself, partly acquiesce in
this
 viewpoint of the possible debate for many reasons.
To begin
,
music
 is obviously divided into a wide range of different genres across. the world. Most of the listeners can enjoy the atmosphere of meaningful melody which is easy on the ears. Favourable lyrics, leading to global widespread, will gather
music
 lovers together.
This
 creates trends for some significantly unique connections among
people
 who are intrigued by
music
.
Thus
, those are able to get to know each other. Some decades ago, there was a symbol for the musical performance whose name was Micheal Jackson.
This
 artist had made most of the generation fascinating his musical styles. Millions of
people
 all over the world,
even aged
Add a hyphen
even-aged
show examples
 ones, once crowded and sang his mythical songs.
This
 strongly stressed the spirit of solidarity.
Conversely
, some hardly listen to a song due to its highly - volume noises. Those keen on the atmosphere of peace. other individuals seem to be far from modern
music
 who are just tasted in old - classical finds.
Music
 satisfaction always depends on what listeners are particularly interested in. Overall, it is true that musicals play an integral role performance on gathering
people
 together globally,
although
 we have to consider whether listeners'
favors
Change the spelling
favours
show examples
 are.
Therefore
, we are able to choose our
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 we are songs actually easy on the ears without any kind of obligation.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
What to do next:
Look at other essays: