IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#people #visitors #countries #customs #behaviour #host #country #differences
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In
this
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 globalised era, tourism has emerged with all its scope throughout the
world
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 and
this
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 trend allows the exposure of various
customs
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, traditions, lifestyles and behaviour. The people who are usually very
conservatives
Fix the agreement mistake
conservative
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 support the argument that foreigners should follow the
host
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Use synonyms
countries
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countries'
country's
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culture
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many others have a different view and they opine that the
host
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country
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 should welcome
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreign cultures.
This
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 essay will analyse both these views.To start with, young tourists mostly have no issues
to follow
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following
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 the
host
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Use synonyms
countries
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countries'
country's
show examples
culture
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 as it will help them to blend with the society so easily.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is
the
Correct article usage
an
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 effective way to reduce racism, prejudices, and social barriers. The one who proclaims a "single
world
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culture
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" can adopt the
host
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Use synonyms
countries
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countries'
country's
show examples
customs
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 and local behaviour, which maintain harmony among nations and will foster the healthy relationship between
countries
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. There are some tourists who do not abide by the rules and
customs
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the
Change preposition
of the
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host
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country
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has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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.
This
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 might create problems as
they
Correct your spelling
the
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 local people would not easily welcome them.
The exposure
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Exposure
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of
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to
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 too much alien
culture
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 might destroy the local way of living and might influence the new generations to adopt
the
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apply
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foreign cultures.
Thus
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 it is indeed a pressing issue.
However
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, those who see "unity in diversity" will definitely deny
single
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single-world
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world
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culture
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 because it can ruin the cultural heritage which is the uniqueness of a particular
country
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. I think uniform
world
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Use synonyms
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
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 do not have equilibrium to survive. The biodiversity keeps the ecosystem and environment exemplify
this
Linking Words
. From
this
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 ground, the tourists should follow some of the local
customs
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.
Finally
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, the
host
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country
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 can accept
cultural
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the cultural
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 differences of the people who visit their
country
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. It is
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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actually
Add a missing verb
is actually
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 essential in these days of conflicts and competition among nations. Once the cultural differences are
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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accepted by a nation; that approach itself opens the development of
tourism
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the tourism
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 industry and
overall
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the overall
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 growth of the
country
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.To conclude, as far as I wish to keep
uniqueness
Add an article
the uniqueness
show examples
 of my cultural heritage I will welcome other cultures, but never adopt those.
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural understanding
  • cultural harmony
  • local customs and behaviours
  • host country's traditions
  • unintentional offense
  • enhance the travel experience
  • cultural fabric
  • inclusive society
  • diverse society
  • global understanding
  • mutual respect
  • respect for local customs
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