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Band 4.5

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest? You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write at least 250 words.

#internet #information #minutes
The
internet
 has become one of the most essential needs of humans and it has been widely used to share
information
 and communicate with people.
This
 system of computer networks has created many serious
problems
 as well.
This
 essay will discuss the
problems
 of using the
internet
 and offer possible solutions to avoid them.
First
 off, the main
problems
 caused by the
internet
 are fraudulent activities and
circulating
Correct article usage
the circulating
show examples
inaccurate
Change preposition
of inaccurate
show examples
information
. Nowadays, payments are done through online banking applications or e-commerce websites. Intruders try to hack into these applications and gather personal data in order to get
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
ransom money from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
internet
 users. Due to
inefficiency
Correct article usage
the inefficiency
show examples
 of
cybercrime
Correct article usage
the cybercrime
show examples
unit
Fix the agreement mistake
units
show examples
 or
intelligence
Correct article usage
the intelligence
show examples
 of hackers, it must be difficult to identify the criminals and take legal actions against them.
Moreover
, there is no validation
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
information
 shared on the
internet
. Anyone can share or create fake news without
validating
Replace the word
validation
show examples
.
This
 may create
unrestfulness
Replace the word
unrest
show examples
 among the societies.
For example
, there are many instances in the world, where some online users shared fake
information
 and created riots in the countries. There are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 solutions which could be implemented to mitigate
above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
show examples
problems
 like improving
cybercrime
Correct article usage
the cybercrime
show examples
unit
Fix the agreement mistake
units
show examples
 by bringing new laws and regulations on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online transactions and deploying watchdog journalism in respective countries. Governments should discuss with
cybercrime
 specialists to understand the nature of fraudulent activities and how
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can be controlled by passing new laws.
For instance
,
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
 years ago, there was a famous hacker who hacked
American
Correct article usage
the American
show examples
 banking system by sending a Trojan Horse virus. The government of
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
understood the knowledge of the hacker and gave him a job as a national service advisor to help the government to understand the methods of hacking and identify other hackers
operate
Wrong verb form
operating
show examples
 in the country.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 new laws were passed to punish these hackers.
Further
,
non government
Add a hyphen
non-government
show examples
 organisations can deploy
watchdogs
Change the noun form
watchdog
show examples
 journalists on the social media platform to identify fake news and report it to law enforcement officials or social media administrators to take necessary actions. In conclusion, the
internet
 has created significant
problems
 across the world , including fraudulent activities and sharing
inaccurate
Change preposition
of inaccurate
show examples
 or fake
information
. Two effective strategies
such
 as improving the
cybercrime
 unit and including watchdog journalism in respective countries to minimise the key issues caused by the
internet
.
Submitted by Jay_Practise on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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