Some people think that it government’s responsibility to transport children to school, while others think parents should get children to school. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

#people #government’s #responsibility #transport #children #school #parents

A lot of

children

have a very long way to

school

This

can lead to losing a lot of time on their way to

school

also

mixing up their

parents

Change noun form

parent's

parents'

show examples

schedule. But is

this

the right thing to do, or should it be the

government

's responsibility to get the

kids

school

? In

this

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

the effect it has on the

parents

and the independence of the

children

will be analysed.

Firstly

, it is very tough for the

government

to establish a

school

bus net, because many people are coming from very different directions, which makes it difficult to make it good for everyone.

For example

, when one person lives 30 kilometres away from

school

, but

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is the only one living there, it is mostly impossible to get public transportation for

this

kid. On the other side,

children

would start getting more independent from their

parents

, which would be a very positive argument.

Also

, the

parents

would be much less impacted by their day at work, if

school

kids

would be

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

brought home in the

government

's responsibility. That would make life much easier for them. Another argument

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is the environmental aspect. If not every parent would have to bring their

kids

to and from

school

by car, but have a

school

bus, much less carbon dioxide would be emitted. In conclusion, I believe that it should be the

government

's responsibility to transport

children

school

in order to have everyone get the education they are allowed to get. By outweighing the pros and cons, it is very obvious that

parents

should not have to drive their

kids

school

. It would be a great improvement to have

school

buses that are accessible to everyone.

Submitted by zebra1998 on Wed Nov 16 2022

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coherence cohesion

The logical structure of your essay is clear, with a good introduction and conclusion. However, some of the supporting points lack development and coherence.

task achievement

Your essay provides a complete response to the task with clear and comprehensive ideas. However, it would benefit from more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that it government’s responsibility to transport children to school, while others think parents should get children to school. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

Fully explain your ideas

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Nowadays, education overseas has become more accessible and growing numbers of people send their offspring to study in other countries. However, this trend has its detractors. I strongly believe that the pros far outweigh the cons, and will examine both below.

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