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Film stars and music celebrities may earn a great deal of money and live in luxurious surroundings, but many of them lead unhappy lives. Do you agree?

#film #stars #music #celebrities #money #surroundings #lives
Actually, social media and the Internet allow many people to earn a great deal of money at levels never seen before. Above all in the Music, Television, and Cinema Industries, the new millionaire's rankings are incredible. My opinion, I strongly agree with
this
 topic and my point of view will be discussed
further
Change preposition
in further
show examples
 paragraphs with a suitable conclusion. Supporting my agreement to the given statement, I believe that excessive access to all things in the world through money make a fell overload of emotions which at the end of the day generate sadness and depression, because if They do not have, the most important thing in the world, LOVE, They fell again absolutely empty in her souls. To cite an example, Nirvana, was a successful singer in the '90s but in her
last
 days come down in a heavy depression in the end lose her life in a sad suicide.
In addition
, the cinema industry
also
 has many cases of tragedies and early losses because the drugs and mental issues. Explaining against
this
 statement, it is true that money can give access to a lot kind of things in the actual world but another hand drugs abuse with a less or inexistent group of real friends or family who can not support heavy situations in a challenging moment, make a fatal chain reaction and road to death.
As a result
 cases of suicide and depression are increased in astronomic numbers. In conclusion, successful movies and music stars may turn her view to the misery and poor in many countries like Africa, Syria and many others who actually suffer from hunger and sickness. I believe that the aforementioned points are strongly supporting my viewpoint.
Submitted by edbaezp on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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