Film stars and music celebrities may earn a great deal of money and live in luxurious surroundings, but many of them lead unhappy lives. Do you agree?

#film #stars #music #celebrities #money #surroundings #lives

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Actually, social media and the Internet allow many people to earn a great deal of money at levels never seen before. Above all in the Music, Television, and Cinema Industries, the new millionaire's rankings are incredible. My opinion, I strongly agree with

this

Linking Words

topic and my point of view will be discussed

Linking Words

further

Change preposition

in further

show examples

paragraphs with a suitable conclusion. Supporting my agreement to the given statement, I believe that excessive access to all things in the world through money make a fell overload of emotions which at the end of the day generate sadness and depression, because if They do not have, the most important thing in the world, LOVE, They fell again absolutely empty in her souls. To cite an example, Nirvana, was a successful singer in the '90s but in her

last

Linking Words

days come down in a heavy depression in the end lose her life in a sad suicide.

In addition

Linking Words

, the cinema industry

also

Linking Words

has many cases of tragedies and early losses because the drugs and mental issues. Explaining against

this

Linking Words

statement, it is true that money can give access to a lot kind of things in the actual world but another hand drugs abuse with a less or inexistent group of real friends or family who can not support heavy situations in a challenging moment, make a fatal chain reaction and road to death.

As a result

Linking Words

cases of suicide and depression are increased in astronomic numbers. In conclusion, successful movies and music stars may turn her view to the misery and poor in many countries like Africa, Syria and many others who actually suffer from hunger and sickness. I believe that the aforementioned points are strongly supporting my viewpoint.

Submitted by edbaezp on Wed Nov 16 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work. in another country if they wish, Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There are several points of views about what professionals such as doctors and engineers should do after they have graduated from the university. Some people believe that it's necessary for professionals to work in their home country, others suggest that it should be a personal decision and if doctor wants to live and work abroad, he can do it.
5
band
Many feel that common educational system of teachers and students ina a classroom will be replaced by the year 2050 do you agree with this view give your opinion?
Many people believe that class based educational learning will be replaced by modern methodology by 2050.This essay will discuss this statement and give reasons as to why class based learning could be replaced by advance methods of learning in upcoming years.
5
band
Some parents believe that their children their children should do extra curricular activities after shcool. Others say in this was, children are under pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Although some are of the opinion that students ought to participate in extracurricular activity after school hours ,others believe that such activities can lead to additional pressure .In my opinion, I consider that extracurricular activities make students feel stressed.
5.5
band
some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lesson about work abs become more disciplined other argue that teenagers shouldn't sacrifice their rest and after school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion?
Financial illiteracy used to be the biggest problem of my childhood. Though, my mother had an average salary and some bonuses from my father as child support. Even though, my mom did not have enough financial knowledge to manage money effectively. I really did not have an idea what was happening due to my young and silly mind. As a big brother to my sister and an assistant to my mother, I had to find a way to abandon this paycheck-to-paycheck lifestyle. I began to study financial literacy by reading Robert Kiyosaki's books and listening to interviews of successful traders and investors such as Warren Buffett, and George Soros. This was just fundament, afterward, I volunteered to be a financial assistant to the mother. Since then, I realised that I want to interconnect my life with money management.
6.5
band
Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some adopt the view that the extinction of several rare plants and animals is the most significant environmental problem, while others think that there are still rooms for other problems. Both views of this argument will be discussed in the essay below before my view is drawn at the end.

Film stars and music celebrities may earn a great deal of money and live in luxurious surroundings, but many of them lead unhappy lives. Do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work. in another country if they wish, Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many feel that common educational system of teachers and students ina a classroom will be replaced by the year 2050 do you agree with this view give your opinion?

Some parents believe that their children their children should do extra curricular activities after shcool. Others say in this was, children are under pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lesson about work abs become more disciplined other argue that teenagers shouldn't sacrifice their rest and after school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.