IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Schools should not force children to learn a foreign language. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#schools #force #children #language
Learning a foreign
language
 is very important and essential for everyone, especially students. But many schools
isn’t force
Change the verb form
don’t force
show examples
 children to learn a new
language
. In my opinion, I really disagree with
this
 statement. English or other languages are
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 necessary element for
present
Add an article
the present
show examples
 life.
Firstly
, they help people can communicate with many friends from
another countries
Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
show examples
, or people between two countries can cooperate about commercialization or make
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 opportunity for many
Correct your spelling
students
syudents
Correct your spelling
students
 to go abroad, etc….
In addition
,
know
Wrong verb form
knowing
show examples
 a lot of foreign
language
Change to a plural noun
languages
show examples
 can take responsibility for a
Correct your spelling
person
show examples
persin
Correct your spelling
person
show examples
 to develop themselves; have
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 to get into a job easily. An employer of a company will appreciate you when you know from two
language
Change to a plural noun
languages
show examples
 above.
This
 will make your job comfortable and have high salaries. For many reasons, schools should increasingly learn a foreign
language
. They shouldn’t stop student force to study a
language
. A new
language
open
Wrong verb form
opens
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
show examples
lots
Correct quantifier usage
lot
show examples
 of
door
Fix the agreement mistake
doors
show examples
 to succeed. In conclusion, schools
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not only force children to learn a foreign
language
 but
also
 take responsibility for many children to study a new
language
.
Submitted by bttha.qn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: