IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statements? Because people are busy doing so many different things, they do very few things well. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#statements #people #support
In the recent
fast moving
Add a hyphen
fast-moving
show examples
 society,
people
 need to attend
various
Change preposition
to various
show examples
 things at
one
time
 and it is difficult to spend a lot of
time
 on
one
 particular project. Some folks believe that under
such
circumstance
Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
show examples
, it is rare that we can achieve something really excellent. I agree with
this
 statement as I see several examples to manifest the truth of the opinion,
such
 as in the genre of arts or architecture. As
such
, I will discuss these examples and conclude that I believe
people
 in the modern world cannot accomplish something really great due to their spending
time
 on too many things. The
first
 clear category to justify the opinion is the area of arts.
For instance
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many years ago, movie
creaters
Correct your spelling
creators
 spent many months or even years
to complete
Change the verb form
completing
show examples
one
 film without the help of computers or
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
. In recent years,
however
, a huge number of movies are produced with short intervals aiming for fast hits and actually, a lot of them are wasted. As a consequence, we see a larger number of cannons in the older era rather than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 current
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
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. The
second
 category is architecture. In
this
 area, in the historical era,
people
 built truly magnificent cathedrals, temples, castles, and forts using
vast
Add an article
a vast
the vast
show examples
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
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 of
time
 devoting a lot of human resources.
As a result
, there are many
Correct your spelling
historical
histrical
Correct your spelling
historical
 masterpieces all over the world.
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
show examples
Nowaday
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
show examples
,
however
, the possibility of these buildings
are
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 built is quite rare as
people
 simply do not have
time
 to concentrate on
one
 project. Needless to say, modern houses and buildings are not as unique as they used to be and often
time
 they are destroyed and rebuilt in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
short period of intervals. In conclusion, as discussed above, we are living in
society
Add an article
a society
show examples
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
people
 cannot devote plenty of
time
 and energy to
one
 thing as they have various priorities. The result of
this
 phenomenon is the mass production of
less
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
quality products. Especially, arts and
architectures
Fix the agreement mistake
architecture
show examples
 can be said that they are suffering from
this
 world's trend.
Submitted by michima2011 on

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