IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statements? Because people are busy doing so many different things, they do very few things well. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#statements #people #support
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In the recent
fast moving
Add a hyphen
fast-moving
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 society,
people
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 need to attend
various
Change preposition
to various
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 things at
one
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 and it is difficult to spend a lot of
time
Use synonyms
 on
one
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 particular project. Some folks believe that under
such
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circumstance
Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
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, it is rare that we can achieve something really excellent. I agree with
this
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 statement as I see several examples to manifest the truth of the opinion,
such
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 as in the genre of arts or architecture. As
such
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, I will discuss these examples and conclude that I believe
people
Use synonyms
 in the modern world cannot accomplish something really great due to their spending
time
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 on too many things. The
first
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 clear category to justify the opinion is the area of arts.
For instance
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,
in
Change preposition
apply
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many years ago, movie
creaters
Correct your spelling
creators
 spent many months or even years
to complete
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completing
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one
Use synonyms
 film without the help of computers or
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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. In recent years,
however
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, a huge number of movies are produced with short intervals aiming for fast hits and actually, a lot of them are wasted. As a consequence, we see a larger number of cannons in the older era rather than
the
Change preposition
in the
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 current
ages
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age
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. The
second
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 category is architecture. In
this
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 area, in the historical era,
people
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 built truly magnificent cathedrals, temples, castles, and forts using
vast
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a vast
the vast
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period
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periods
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 of
time
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 devoting a lot of human resources.
As a result
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, there are many
Correct your spelling
historical
histrical
Correct your spelling
historical
 masterpieces all over the world.
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
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Nowaday
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
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,
however
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, the possibility of these buildings
are
Wrong verb form
being
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 built is quite rare as
people
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 simply do not have
time
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 to concentrate on
one
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 project. Needless to say, modern houses and buildings are not as unique as they used to be and often
time
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 they are destroyed and rebuilt in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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short period of intervals. In conclusion, as discussed above, we are living in
society
Add an article
a society
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that
Correct word choice
where
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people
Use synonyms
 cannot devote plenty of
time
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 and energy to
one
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 thing as they have various priorities. The result of
this
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 phenomenon is the mass production of
less
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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quality products. Especially, arts and
architectures
Fix the agreement mistake
architecture
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 can be said that they are suffering from
this
Linking Words
 world's trend.
Submitted by michima2011 on

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