IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some students prefer to take a gap year between highschool and university, to work or to travel. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Choosing the right
career
Use synonyms
 path is
detrimental
Correct word choice
crucial
show examples
 to following and achieving our life goals.
While
Linking Words
 some pupils much rather take a gap year between high school and university to travel or work, others would prefer to continue their studies. Taking a gap year has its positives
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as gaining independence, invaluable
experience
Use synonyms
 and making a concrete decision regarding which
career
Use synonyms
 choice is the best for us.
This
Linking Words
 may outweigh the negatives
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as losing academic momentum , the risk of wasting valuable
time
Use synonyms
 and the
experience
Use synonyms
 can be costly.
This
Linking Words
 essay will showcase why the positives outweigh the negatives. On the one hand, taking
time
Use synonyms
 out can provide multiple long-term benefits.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it allows you to gain independence.
For example
Linking Words
 , taking up a job or a paid internship in a possible future
career
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 allows an individual to gain independence
as well as
Linking Words
 being able to ease the financial burden of going to university or college.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the invaluable
experience
Use synonyms
 of travelling and working
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
allows people to gain knowledge and insight into other aspects of life
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 well as giving
you
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 to pursue other passions. Without a doubt,
this
Linking Words
 can aid in making
career
Use synonyms
 decisions that may impact the rest of your life.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, taking
this
Linking Words
 break from education can
subsequently
Linking Words
 lead to a loss of academic momentum .
For instance
Linking Words
, not studying for a whole 12 months and travelling to various parts of the world or taking up a job may cause you to lose your focus academically, resulting in a loss of
career
Use synonyms
 aspirations.
Additionally
Linking Words
, travelling costs money .
As a result
Linking Words
, you may end up spending your savings, landing you in debt and loans.
Time
Use synonyms
 is extremely valuable and cannot be brought back once it has been lost.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 gap years may de-motivate some people and financially may take a toll , I believe that it is a once-in-a-lifetime
experience
Use synonyms
 which may
further
Linking Words
 motivate you.
Thus
Linking Words
 helping you to choose the correct
career
Use synonyms
 path for you and outweighing the disadvantages.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task
State your view clearly in the first line of the essay so the reader knows your position from the start.
structure
Keep one idea per paragraph and limit long sentences. Use 2-3 clear points in each paragraph.
content
Give strong, real examples for each point to show how the idea works.
language
Check grammar and punctuation, and use simple spellings.
linking
Use simple link words like and, but, also, so, because to connect ideas smoothly.
strength
The essay shows a clear view that a gap year can be good.
organization
It has a clear plan with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
examples
The writer uses examples such as internships and travel to support ideas.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: