IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believes that children`s time outside of school should be fill with schedule activities such as art and music classes and sports others feels that childern needs free time to play and relax discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

#people #children`s #time #school #schedule #activities #art #music #classes #sports #childern
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
believing that
children
's
time
 outside school should be filled with scheduled activities like art,music and sport.others
Change the verb form
feel
show examples
Correct subject-verb agreement
feel
show examples
feels
Correct subject-verb agreement
feel
show examples
 that
children
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 free
time
 to play and relax.
This
 means that people are of different
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
 but in
this
 case is good for
children
 to identify their talent on
time
,
children
 who were able to know go into art or music on
time
 have to start practising on
time
 to be a better person. for ,example
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Nigeria Messi who identify his talent on
time
 and develop it
was
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 a great person,
secondly
 it
good
Add a missing verb
is good
show examples
 for
children
 to start practising with their following
children
 to be able to develop more skills and acquire more knowledge. so as is important for
children
 to relax after coming from school,it helps them relax and have full energy to start going again by
then
 start joining their friends to enjoy any kind of game they are well to learn. but right now is better for people to start learning when they are
child
Add an article
a child
show examples
 it
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
room
Correct pronoun usage
them room
show examples
 to know more about what they want.like in the society where we are living computers have taken over everything,so the
children
 who start operating a computer have value to compare with the who do not have access to a computer.because helps you to develop more and know what is happening in the world. In ,
conclusion
Add an article
the conclusion
show examples
 is good for
children
 to relax and have free
time
 to discover their knowledge.
Submitted by on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: