Some people believes that children`s time outside of school should be fill with schedule activities such as art and music classes and sports others feels that childern needs free time to play and relax discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

believing that
children
's
time
outside school should be filled with scheduled activities like art,music and sport.others
Change the verb form
feel
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Correct subject-verb agreement
feel
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feels
Correct subject-verb agreement
feel
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that
children
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
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Correct subject-verb agreement
need
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needs
Change the verb form
need
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free
time
to play and relax.
This
means that people are of different
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
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but in
this
case is good for
children
to identify their talent on
time
,
children
who were able to know go into art or music on
time
have to start practising on
time
to be a better person. for ,example
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Nigeria Messi who identify his talent on
time
and develop it
was
Correct your spelling
as
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a great person,
secondly
it
good
Add a missing verb
is good
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for
children
to start practising with their following
children
to be able to develop more skills and acquire more knowledge. so as is important for
children
to relax after coming from school,it helps them relax and have full energy to start going again by
then
start joining their friends to enjoy any kind of game they are well to learn. but right now is better for people to start learning when they are
child
Add an article
a child
show examples
it
give
Change the verb form
gives
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room
Correct pronoun usage
them room
show examples
to know more about what they want.like in the society where we are living computers have taken over everything,so the
children
who start operating a computer have value to compare with the who do not have access to a computer.because helps you to develop more and know what is happening in the world. In ,
conclusion
Add an article
the conclusion
show examples
is good for
children
to relax and have free
time
to discover their knowledge.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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