In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents' home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing a home with friends. Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples.

In today's society, I can see some value for young people who leave their
parents
' home after finishing their studies. Dosen't really
matters
Correct subject-verb agreement
matter
show examples
if they will be renting or sharing a home with some aquantances but, the action of
search
Wrong verb form
searching
show examples
for independence
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
realy
Correct your spelling
really
counts in my
oppinion
Correct your spelling
opinion
.
First,
taking care of a house is not
a
Change the article
an
show examples
easy
dutty
Correct your spelling
duty
show examples
and requires some maturity
that is
very hard to develop when you have someone doing those chores for you, like your Father or Mother. For
exemple
Correct your spelling
example
, I have a friend
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
is
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
his 30th's and still
deppendable
Correct your spelling
dependent
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
his
parents
. in
addicion
Correct your spelling
addition
, the opportunity to live by yourself can help a
youg
Correct your spelling
young
person to grow and acquire more
responsabilities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
and it is good to have it sooner than
latter
Correct your spelling
later
show examples
.
On the other hand
, when you
leave
Correct your spelling
live
show examples
with your
parents
you can save a huge
chunck
Correct your spelling
chunk
of money that can and should be used for a down payment
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
their first property.
Stay
Verb problem
Being
show examples
with your
parents
is very common
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
latin
Change the capitalization
Latin
show examples
countries. The majority of people keep living with their
parents
untill
Correct your spelling
until
they get married and it was not different with me. I came from a Brazilian family and around 8 of 10 of my cousins, stayed with their families
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
time after
graduates
Wrong verb form
graduating
show examples
and that included myself.
While
I was planning my wedding and started the process of looking for a place to live I
coluld
Correct your spelling
could
stay with my
parents
and had all the support I needed to start my own path.
Overall
, I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that it is more about
cultural
Replace the word
culture
show examples
than a logical decision
however
Add the comma(s)
, however
show examples
, now that I am living in North America I can see the advantages of leaving
their
Correct pronoun usage
my
show examples
parent house soon.
Submitted by daniel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: