Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Other, however, say that this would be little effects on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #health #sport #facilities #effects #measures

There are controversial debates between people regarding the question that what is the best way to enhance public

health

status ,while one group consider pouring more money into sports infrastructures as the best solution, other argue that other measures must be taken into account. I personally side with

Correct article usage

the later

show examples

later

Correct your spelling

latter

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view. On the one hand, it is needless to say that doing exercise regularly is one of the beneficial

way

Change to a plural noun

ways

show examples

that individuals can benefit from to gain better

health

condition.

For instance

, a remarkable enhancement in controlling blood pressure have seen among those elders who used to attend

daily

Add an article

the daily

show examples

exercise.

Furthermore

, setting a daily time for doing a bit of yoga can act as a game-changer in terms of handling chronic diseases like diabetes

Therefore

it seems wise to allocate money to better commodities which might trigger more people to schedule

for

Change preposition

apply

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a daily routine physical activity.

On the other hand

, there is no doubt in order to heighten public

wellbeing

Correct your spelling

well-being

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other factors play an important role

likewise

. Lack of hospitals along

increasing

Change preposition

with increasing

show examples

population plus air pollution and its detrimental effects are becoming serious challenges on the way to

obtain

Wrong verb form

obtaining

show examples

better

health

. Take,

for example

, various research conducted by

health

scientists show a greater prevalence of

pulmonary

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the pulmonary

a pulmonary

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disease among urban citizens thanks to industrial fumes and burning fossil fuels and

this

issue only can be tackled by improving air condition.

Moreover

lack

Correct article usage

the lack

show examples

of high-quality hospitals and

health

care

centers

Change the spelling

centres

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Add the comma(s)

, in addition,

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in addition

Change the verb form

being

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understaff defiantly can pose threat to public

health

, which can be simply resolved by allocating more budget. In the final analysis,

however

great benefits which are brought by means of exercise are undeniable. My firm conviction is that we must grasp the importance of other elements to reach to

optimal

Add an article

an optimal

show examples

level in terms of public

health

Submitted by zzzhasani97 on Thu Nov 17 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

298 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Other, however, say that this would be little effects on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Include an introduction and conclusion

some people think that public libraries are no longer necessary, while others believe that public libraries still perform useful functions.Discuss both views and give your opinion.