In many countries woman no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require financial security that marriage can bring. To what extend do you agree?

#countries #woman #people #women #income #security #marriage

In too many nations

women

tend not to enter into the

marriage

relationship

. Some people argue that since they are earning their own living hood

thus

no need to get married because

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

financial independence is believed to be the main source of

marriage

. I completely disagree with the notion, I am going to elaborate following paragraphs. I believe that

marriage

is not only about money or security, but

also

relationships and the best way to bring the

generation alive. if

women

do not get married, there is no way mankind can sustain

Correct pronoun usage

itself in

show examples

this

land. ,

Furthermore

Add a comma

,Furthermore

show examples

if our parents choose not to get married we cannot

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

live today .

For example

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show examples

a survey conducted by the university of chico in INDIA found that in the areas where more single

women

at the age of 42 are willing to get married.

Thus

I believe that entering into a

Correct your spelling

marriage

marrige

Correct your spelling

marriage

relationship

is always beneficial to mankind. Another moot point of why

women

should get

Correct your spelling

married

marrie

Correct your spelling

married

is caring and enjoying

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life with

their

Change the word

the

show examples

generations. When

women

get married they give birth to children

consequently

they are more responsible in

Correct your spelling

the

teh

Correct your spelling

the

process of caring for their kids, and when

kinds

Correct your spelling

kids

show examples

become adults they look after their parents

hence

they do not

toneed

Correct your spelling

need

depend on nurses or old age homes.

For example

India

Add a comma

,India

show examples

not

Add a missing verb

is not

show examples

uncommon to live with three generations of family

membersmembers

Correct your spelling

members members

and a lot of wealth accumulated by parents and grandparents to secure their kid's future.

This

responsibility will not be found in another

relationship

. In Conclusion,

although

women

Change the verb form

are

show examples

earning their living hood on their own it is necessary to get married because we need to welcome

our

Change the word

the

show examples

generation by means of

Add an article

the marriage

show examples

marriage

Replace the word

married

show examples

relationship

and

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

responsibility is the indirect effect that makes the secure wealth.

Submitted by kadem.naresh286 on Thu Nov 17 2022

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

303 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries woman no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require financial security that marriage can bring. To what extend do you agree?

In some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general educational across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrowly range of subjects to related to a particular career. Which do you think is appropriate in today’s world?

Some people argue that space explonation has had more to do with national pride than international effort. To what extent to you agree with this? How do you think space explonation will change in the future?

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to secondary to universities too much time is spent on learning facts and not on enough learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree ?

In modern times, young adults are spending less time with their families and more with friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it must be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion.