IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

All over the world, the rich are becoming richer and the poor are becoming poorer. What problems does this cause? How can we overcome the problems of poverty?

#world #poverty
In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recently
Replace the word
recent
show examples
 years has been an
increase
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
rich
Correct quantifier usage
number of rich
show examples
people
 over the poor, in the following essay I will describe the problems that it can
cause
 and
also
 I will give some points of view on how to overcome the issues of
poverty
 over the world.
Firstly
, when
increase
Change the verb form
increasing
show examples
 the ratio of poor
people
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
cause
 big issues not only for the
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
, if not as well, for the nation.
Therefore
, when the levels of
poverty
increase
 in a
Correct your spelling
nation
nacion
Correct your spelling
nation
, the
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 needs to
increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
taxes.
Thus
, poor
people
 can be helped by the taxes that the
gorverment
Correct your spelling
government
colected
Correct your spelling
collected
. In
Correct your spelling
addition
additon
Correct your spelling
addition
,
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
cause
 is that if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poverty
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
 the levels of
education
 decrease, as the
people
 do not have
Correct your spelling
enough
enought
Correct your spelling
enough
 earnings to pay the
education
, for examples countries
such
 as Bolivia, Nicaragua the ratios of
poverty
 are
Correct your spelling
high
show examples
hight
Correct your spelling
high
show examples
 and the indices of
education
 are low. I believe that countries can overcome the problems of
Correct your spelling
poverty
proverty
Correct your spelling
poverty
 by investing in
education
,
for example
, if the
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
offer
Change the verb form
offers
show examples
 free
education
 and scholarships more
people
 can access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
education
 and
then
 once
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they are graduated, they can access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
better jobs,
therefore
, they will receive better salaries.
Also
, the
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 can
increase
 the minimum salary.
Thus
, the population can have more
earning
Correct your spelling
earnings
show examples
 and can spend more money, which can
cause
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 jobs.
for example
, we can see in countries like
australia
Change the capitalization
Australia
show examples
 that the minimum salary is
Correct your spelling
high
show examples
hight
Correct your spelling
high
show examples
 and the levels of
poverty
 are low. In conclusion, when richer peoples are less
Correct word choice
than
show examples
that
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 poor
Correct your spelling
people
pleople
Correct your spelling
people
 it causes many issues for a nation,
therefore
, the
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 of every country needs to help their nation in terms of
education
, better jobs and better salaries to decrease
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poverty
.
Submitted by julibm30 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Income inequality
  • Wealth gap
  • Socioeconomic disparities
  • Marginalized communities
  • Impoverished individuals
  • Privileged elite
  • Disparity in living standards
  • Social stratification
  • Exacerbate
  • Living below the poverty line
  • Income distribution
  • Lack of access to basic necessities
  • Food insecurity
  • Limited healthcare services
  • Education barriers
  • Socioeconomic mobility
  • Resentment
  • Economic disparities
  • Resource allocation
  • Underprivileged
  • Vulnerable populations
  • Cyclical nature of poverty
  • Government intervention
  • Multilateral cooperation
  • Empowerment
  • Progressive taxation
  • Equal opportunities
  • Social safety nets
  • Unemployment rate
  • Corruption
What to do next:
Look at other essays: