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Band 4.5

Your friend has been offered a place on a course at the university where you studied. He/She would like your advice about finding a place to live. Write an email to your friend. In your email • describe where you lived when you were a student at the university • recommend the best way for him/her to look for accommodation • warn him/her of mistakes students make when choosing accommodation You do NOT need to write any addresses.

#friend #place #course #university #advice #email #student #accommodation #mistakes #students #addresses
Dear Angela, I am thrilled that you were admitted to the Econ101 course at Johns Hopkins University, where I was an undergraduate. Below are my suggestions
on
Change preposition
for
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 accommodation, which you asked for in your
last
 email. I lived in a dorm on the campus when I attended Johns Hopkins. I had three roommates, with whom I shared a bathroom and a kitchen. Living in the dorms was a lovely experience for me as I got to know some of my closest college friends through dorm activities. Unfortunately,
on-campus
Correct article usage
an on-campus
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 dorm is not a viable option for students who are merely enrolled in individual courses.
However
, you will find plenty of housing options near the campus with an average monthly rent of $1500 dollar for a bedroom or $2500 for a studio. You can easily find information on available rooms or studios through Facebook groups. One thing to keep in mind is to avoid living in the
Sunset
 District, which is five blocks away from the campus. The rent for houses in the
Sunset
 District is usually much lower than that for houses in other
neighborhoods
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neighbourhoods
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, which is why some new students consider living there.
However
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Sunset
 has the highest crime rate in Baltimore.
In particular
, you would expose yourself to greater risks of robbery if you chose to live in the
Sunset
. I hope you enjoy your time at Johns Hopkins. Feel free to let me know if you have additional questions regarding housing or the University in general. All the best to your housing search! Sincerely,
Ruoyao
Correct your spelling
Royal
Submitted by zry9468 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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