Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time on sports. Why is it? Is it a positive negative development?

#children #time #computer #games #sports #development

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Nowadays, people’s life is depending on electronic products a lot like mobile phones, computers, TV, etc. The phenomenon

Unnecessary verb

apply

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that

children

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spend too much

time

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on electronic

games

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and less on

sports

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both positively and negatively has aroused

Remove the article

apply

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wide concern among various circles. Divergent as people’s views on

this

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issue in question may be, I believe that

this

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has more likely to have a harmful impact. Regarding the positive side of playing

computer

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games

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, probably the most significant benefit is that it provides an experience you hard to find in the reality.

Computer

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games

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provide a different view of the world, the player can use a virtual character to enjoy the

fiction

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fictional

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world with some ability or weapon

such

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as magic, gun, sword, etc.

Children

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can

also

Linking Words

feel a sense of accomplishment via playing the game.

For example

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, most

computer

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games

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require

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the player

a player

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player

Fix the agreement mistake

players

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to level up their virtual character. They usually start off easy but

then

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the

difficult

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difficulty

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gradually increase and players can unlock other ability or equipment.

This

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experience and sense of achievement make

children

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splurge

time

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computer

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games

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- even sacrifice

time

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for

sports

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. In my opinion, the aforementioned trend is without a doubt a negative development.

Children

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spend

Wrong verb form

spending

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so much

time

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sitting in front of the

computer

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will jeopardize their health.

For instance

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children

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rather glue their eyes to the

computer

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screen than

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apply

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participate in outdoor

sports

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- obesity and cardiovascular diseases among

children

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are not uncommon due to the lack of exercise. Not only are

sports

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indispensable to their physical health, but they are

also

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a crucial element in developing

children

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's social skills. Many

sports

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activities require teamwork like football, basketball and volleyball. Without those activities,

children

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will lack

Remove the preposition

apply

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practical

chance

Fix the agreement mistake

chances

show examples

Change preposition

for

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social skills. Over

time

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, they will avoid face-to-face

communicate

Replace the word

communication

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with people.

As a result

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, addiction to

computer

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games

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will excessively affect

children

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physically and mentally. Under

this

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link of thinking,

there

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their

show examples

good

Add a missing verb

are good

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arguments in

favor

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favour

show examples

of playing

computer

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games

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However

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, it can be detrimental in several ways to the

children

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Submitted by frankyimp on Fri Nov 18 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

340 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

allure
captivate
supervise
accessible
scarcity
safer alternative
peer pressure
educational tools
cognitive skills
implications
obesity
poor posture
hand-eye coordination
problem-solving abilities

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Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time on sports. Why is it? Is it a positive negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people argue that governments should make laws regarding people’s nutrition and food choices to improve public health while others contend that this is the freedom of personal choice and responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some countries around the world men and women are having children later in life.What are the reasons for this development? What are the effects on society and family life?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problem, as well as practical problems To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home for work, education or shopping. To what extent do you agree or disagree?