Some people argue that the government should spend money only on medical care and education but not on theatres or sports stadiums. Do you agree or disagree

There are controversial perspectives heating up a debate over whether the authority should invest
money
only
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the medical
system
and schooling. While some claim that it is necessary for
governor
Add an article
the governor
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to fund the cost of the health care
system
and
education
, the opposite makes a statement that the authority had better not spend
money
on theatres or sports stadiums. While each has its own perks, I would contend that it is optimal to combine both mentioned factors. Without a shadow of a doubt, funding the cost of medical and
education
is of paramount significance. Because they are
backbone
Correct article usage
the backbone
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industries of any nation. Investing the state’s
money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the healthcare
system
and schooling makes citizens enjoy services from top-notch hospitals and improve the quality of
education
.
As a result
, all people can feel jovial when they experience the best quality in hospitals and students can easily absorb knowledge with high-standard
Correct your spelling
facilities
facilitis
Correct your spelling
facilities
.
For example
,
American
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America
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is one of the
nation
Change to a plural noun
nations
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spend
Correct pronoun usage
that spend
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myriads of
money
on medical and schooling in the form of modern infrastructure.
Hence
, two factors should be invested by the state. While the essence of investing
money
in the medical and schooling
system
is widely acknowledged, it is unfair if the
Correct your spelling
government
gorvernment
Correct your spelling
government
ignore
Correct subject-verb agreement
ignores
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funding for the entertainment industry. As investing on theatres and sports
stadium
Fix the agreement mistake
stadiums
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can help
country
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the country
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attract the tourists and develop the nation’s economy.
For instance
, Seagames 31 in Vietnam attracted millions of people from every corner of the
word
Correct your spelling
world
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, they bought a ticket to observe the tournaments. That makes
the
Correct article usage
apply
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tourism and the economy prosper.
Thus
,
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
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money
on medical and
education
are taken into consideration. To sum up, the governor ought to spend
money
on health care and schooling but they do not
forget
Add the particle
toforget
show examples
invest in the theatres and sports
stadium
Fix the agreement mistake
stadiums
show examples
.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • government expenditure
  • public health
  • medical facilities
  • access to healthcare
  • education system
  • quality education
  • human capital
  • economic growth
  • luxury
  • cultural development
  • social development
  • tourism
  • local economy
  • well-rounded society
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