IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people argue that the government should spend money only on medical care and education but not on theatres or sports stadiums. Do you agree or disagree

#people #government #money #care #education #theatres #sports #stadiums
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There are controversial perspectives heating up a debate over whether the authority should invest
money
Use synonyms
 only
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the medical
system
Use synonyms
 and schooling. While some claim that it is necessary for
governor
Add an article
the governor
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 to fund the cost of the health care
system
Use synonyms
 and
education
Use synonyms
, the opposite makes a statement that the authority had better not spend
money
Use synonyms
 on theatres or sports stadiums. While each has its own perks, I would contend that it is optimal to combine both mentioned factors. Without a shadow of a doubt, funding the cost of medical and
education
Use synonyms
 is of paramount significance. Because they are
backbone
Correct article usage
the backbone
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 industries of any nation. Investing the state’s
money
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the healthcare
system
Use synonyms
 and schooling makes citizens enjoy services from top-notch hospitals and improve the quality of
education
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, all people can feel jovial when they experience the best quality in hospitals and students can easily absorb knowledge with high-standard
Correct your spelling
facilities
facilitis
Correct your spelling
facilities
.
For example
Linking Words
,
American
Correct your spelling
America
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 is one of the
nation
Change to a plural noun
nations
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spend
Correct pronoun usage
that spend
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 myriads of
money
Use synonyms
 on medical and schooling in the form of modern infrastructure.
Hence
Linking Words
, two factors should be invested by the state. While the essence of investing
money
Use synonyms
 in the medical and schooling
system
Use synonyms
 is widely acknowledged, it is unfair if the
Correct your spelling
government
gorvernment
Correct your spelling
government
ignore
Correct subject-verb agreement
ignores
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 funding for the entertainment industry. As investing on theatres and sports
stadium
Fix the agreement mistake
stadiums
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 can help
country
Add an article
the country
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 attract the tourists and develop the nation’s economy.
For instance
Linking Words
, Seagames 31 in Vietnam attracted millions of people from every corner of the
word
Correct your spelling
world
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, they bought a ticket to observe the tournaments. That makes
the
Correct article usage
apply
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tourism and the economy prosper.
Thus
Linking Words
,
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
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money
Use synonyms
 on medical and
education
Use synonyms
 are taken into consideration. To sum up, the governor ought to spend
money
Use synonyms
 on health care and schooling but they do not
forget
Add the particle
toforget
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 invest in the theatres and sports
stadium
Fix the agreement mistake
stadiums
show examples
.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • government expenditure
  • public health
  • medical facilities
  • access to healthcare
  • education system
  • quality education
  • human capital
  • economic growth
  • luxury
  • cultural development
  • social development
  • tourism
  • local economy
  • well-rounded society
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