IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays many young people leave home at an early age to either study or work in a city. Why do you think they move to cities? Do you think this has more advantages or disadvantages for young people?

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Nowadays, the situation of young
people
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 that leave
home
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 at
early
Add an article
an early
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 age to
study
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 or
work
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 is not strange to everybody. It's not a trend it's the necessary goal of
people
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 who want to change their lives better in the future.
The
Change the article
A
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city
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 is a
place
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 that creates opportunities for many
people
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, not only young
people
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. In my opinion,
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city
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the city
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 is not only the
center
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centre
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 of a country but
also
Linking Words
 a
place
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 where many factors help
people
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 develop both intellectually and financially. So many universities were established here to easily connect students to
study
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 and
this
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 is
also
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 a
place
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 to create many jobs for the unemployed, especially those from disadvantaged areas.
Beside
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Besides
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 that, the lifestyle of the
city
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 is very diverse and crowded, it attracts many
people
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especially
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,especially
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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students.
This
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 is the reason why many young
people
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 leave
home
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 at an early age to
study
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 and
work
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. I'm
also
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 a student leaving
home
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 to
study
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 in the
city
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 so I found that it has more advantages than
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
disavantages
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disadvantages
 for young
people
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. When we live and
study
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 in
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city
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the city
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 for a long time, we will get a lot
useful
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of useful
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 experiences and
knowledges
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knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
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 from school and
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people
Correct article usage
the people
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 of the
city
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.
Moreover
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,
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communication
Correct article usage
the comunication
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comunication
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communication
 skills of us will
be improve
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improve
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 clearly and we can make a good
first
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 impression
to
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on
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people
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everytime
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every time
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 and everywhere.
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Study
Wrong verb form
Studying
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 and
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work
Wrong verb form
working
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 in
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city
Add an article
the city
show examples
 give young
people
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 many chances to develop themselves, overcome any challenges is a peace of cake because they can apply all things they got to the future after
belonged
Wrong verb form
belonging
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 to the
city
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. To sum up, every young
people
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whom
Change the pronoun
who
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leave
Correct subject-verb agreement
leaves
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home
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 to
study
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 or
work
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 in a
city
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 still have a
clearly
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clear
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 goal and
suitable
Add a missing verb
is suitable
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 for their life.
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City
Correct article usage
The city
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 is a wonderful
place
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that
Correct word choice
where
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people
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at
Change preposition
of
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 any age should come to discover a lot of
interest
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interesting
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 things and experiences one time in life.
Then
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 we can empathize with the younger generation about leaving
home
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 to start a new life in
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city
Add an article
the city
show examples
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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