Some people say that feeling of competition should be incouraged in children others say they should be taught to become cooperative. What is your opinion?

It is

irrefutable

Correct article usage

an irrefutable

show examples

fact that children always were and will be the future of the nation which is debatable and now has become more controversial. Some masses believe that the ladder to success goes through competition and youngsters should be encouraged by their parents and teachers

while

others assume that being cooperative is the key to success. In my opinion, the former preposition appears more rational and in

this

essay, I will shed light on both sides

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

thus

leading to a logical conclusion.

To begin

with, there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

myriad

Add an article

a myriad

show examples

of reasons which will

further

elaborate the notion but the most preponderant

one

stems from the fact that in every stage of

life

Add a comma

life,

show examples

youth need to cooperate with everyone either it is their education journey or career.

In other words

, when an individual works in a multinational company, being a leader they have to be cooperative with everyone which will prove them a good show of their leadership skill. If a child learns it at their initial age

then

it will help them in the later stage of life. Another pivotal aspect of

this

trend is that by being cooperative,

one

can be satisfied in later life.

For instance

, when a big company's CEO is cooperative with their staff and in ,return they

achieved

Wrong verb form

achieve

show examples

higher success because of the worker's hard work. which is highly appreciated by the higher authorities.

Hence

, many people are in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

favour of

this

trend. On the flip side of the topic, many individuals believe the

compitition

Correct your spelling

competition

provides confidence in the students which will be rewarded as an accomplishment in their respective careers.

Moreover

Compitition

Correct your spelling

competition

also

enhances their knowledge towards any subject.

For example

, when a student takes part in an art and craft

compitition

Correct your spelling

competition

competitions

, it will increase their creative thoughts and help them to be more creative with their artwork.

Furthermore

compitition

Correct your spelling

competition

will

also

come with the fear of looser, when runner-ups lose

due to

minor points it will boost their fear and anxiety attacks

occurs

Correct subject-verb agreement

occur

show examples

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

is why many people are against

this

trend. To recapitulate,

according to

the aforementioned above,

one

can reach the conclusion that the benefits of being cooperative are instrumental as it provides benefits in the later stage

while

one

should not ignore the latter fact of the

compitition

Correct your spelling

competition

which is necessary

as well as

harmful sometimes.

Submitted by sharma.divya.nid on Fri Nov 18 2022

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task response

Address the prompt more directly and present clear arguments for each side of the debate

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear logical structure and could benefit from more cohesive transitions between ideas

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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17Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

388 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that feeling of competition should be incouraged in children others say they should be taught to become cooperative. What is your opinion?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In some societies, the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. Some people think that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crimes should receive adult punishments. To what extent do you agree

In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that handwriting is no longer useful in the modern world and should not be taught in schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?