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Band 5.5

the preventation of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this.

#preventation #health #illness #treatment #medicine #government
In the modern world, ordinary
people
, criminals, and detectives are becoming interesting and genius
persons
Replace the word
people
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. Everyone attracts to a side, depending on their point of view. The readers are absorbed in a fancy book about them, and the watchers drown in a dramatic TV series about a
crime
 or a detective story. By the way, I am strongly influenced by these types of stories and follow them.
This
 attraction appears because they are not like them in their life but want to be in their imagination.
Therefore
,
crime
 novels or TV
crime
 dramas absorb them to it. In older years,
people
 have experienced more
crime
 in the streets which makes them disgusted with it.
The robbery
Correct article usage
Robbery
show examples
 happened more often due to the lack of CCTVs. In the countryside, murdering enemies was not unusual and police couldn't figure out the murderer easily.
However
, In the newer generation,
this
 kind of assault and rage, have been degraded. But it has stayed in their genes. Today,
this
 genre of books or TV shows is just filling social's free time. It has adventurous and exciting scenes which glue
people
 to the pages or the screen.
Moreover
, For that period of time, they flow to an imaginary world where they could be the main character. They could rob a bank and
then
 run away, or be the detective that captures the lord of the drug in their
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
. In my opinion, imagining doing these kinds of activities is better than doing them physically. In summary, due to the increase in safety and peace in the world, acts of
crime
 are decreasing. Many countries are becoming more and more fond of
crime
 stories. Some
people
 like to read them in a book, and some crave a love story that involves criminals in it. I find it plausible to spend time watching an action genre with a hint of drama.
Submitted by niligh on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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