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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed (damaged) by human activity. Others feel that human activity makes the Earth a better place to live. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #earth #activity #place
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Since human arrival on earth, communities have made many changes in their environment in order to live a good life.
However
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, some believe that human activities make the world a better habitat,
while
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 others say that the earth has been damaged by the public. From my point of view, I feel that We, humans, are causing huge harm to the globe. On the one hand, it is undeniable that today's developed world is the result of the efforts of humans from generation to generation.
Otherwise
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, we would have lived in the cave and eaten the raw foods.Now we have advanced machines and our life seems more comfortable than before.Many important inventions have been made over these years namely the computer,electricity,fast cars, aeroplanes etc which have made the whole globe smaller and to our reach. Time and distance have been reduced by the human struggle and the knowledge we have acquired over the years.These were some barriers
of
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in
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 our life that we have broken in past years.
On the other hand
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, in rural areas, new industries and cities are being built by the community to live a modern lifestyle which leads to a problem
named
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called
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 deforestation.
In other words
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, urbanization created many deserts.
Also
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, the population use unfit vehicles to travel.Those industries and vehicles emit a large amount of carbon dioxide which is known as a greenhouse gas.
Due to
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 deforestation these gasses could not be absorbed by the trees and ended up damaging the earth's one of
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the
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most important surface layers, the Ozone layer.Because that dangerous ultraviolet ray enters the globe very easily they can be a great threat to our mankind.
Thus
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, one or two of the basic activities can lead to a great problem. In conclusion, even though human beings struggle to make the world a better place for survival, some claim that it harms natural resources and I totally agree with them.
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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Ensure that you provide a brief overview of the main points in the introduction and a conclusion that reiterates your opinion and summarizes the key points of your essay.
task response
Your essay addresses the task but does not fully develop the ideas. Provide a balanced discussion of both views and give reasons and examples to support your opinion. Ensure that you cover all aspects of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • renewable resources
  • carbon footprint
  • conservation
  • ecology
  • emissions
  • fossil fuels
  • greenhouse gases
  • habitat destruction
  • industrialization
  • pollutants
  • recycling
  • urbanization
  • deforestation
  • ecosystem
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