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Band 4.5

More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem? Problem and solution

#animals #verge #extinction #list
A large number of wild
animals
 are vanishing over the years and some of them are on the threatened list.
This
 happens mainly due to hunting and overpopulation.
However
, there are a number of solutions that ought to be implemented to deal with these problems. It become very common these days that
people
 are hunting
animals
 cruelly, it is like a trend and a hobby for some
people
. They visit the jungles and kill
animals
 in order to fulfil their hobbies
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is causing a big issue for
animals
.
Consequently
, due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less
awareness
Change preposition
of awareness
show examples
 and improper principles the species are dying and becoming extinct. Another issue is
construction
Add an article
the construction
a construction
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 of building and demolishing of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
forest lands .when land
Correct your spelling
is
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in
Correct your spelling
is
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used
Change the form of the verb
use
show examples
 for
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
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 and other resources,
animals
 move to
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
other areas which are not suitable for them and they
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 their lives. A recent study showed that many
animals
 started walking between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public areas and due to
fears
Fix the agreement mistake
fear
show examples
 in
people
, local
people
 kill them to save their lives.
However
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,However
show examples
 a number of steps can be taken to tackle
this
 problem.
First
 and foremost the government has to take full responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the wildlife they have to restrict hunting and give punishment
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
 who disobey the rules. Another possible solution is that awareness among
people
. There is no doubt that human impact is the key factor contributing to
make
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making
show examples
 the situation worse.
Therefore
, rising awareness
of
Change preposition
among
show examples
people
 is the wisest and most sustainable solution. In conclusion, the reasons behind wild
animals
Change the noun form
animal
show examples
 extinction can be
Wrong verb form
tackled
show examples
tackle
Correct your spelling
tackled
show examples
 by government roles regarding their limitations and educating
people
 about their importance in our environment.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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