Some people think that the education system should only focus on preparing students for employment, while others believe it has other important functions. Discuss both sides and then give your own opinion.

#people #education #system #focus #students #employment #functions

Many

people

feel that getting pupils ready for their careers should be

main

Add an article

the main

show examples

focus of

schools

Correct your spelling

whereas

show examples

where as

Correct your spelling

whereas

show examples

others believe that

schools

should have additional purposes.

This

essay discusses both sides of

this

argument and

then

I will give my own perspective. There are merits of

schools

only focusing on preparing young

people

for their working lives. If young

people

are better prepared for their careers they will be more successful in their working lives. As well as

this

, they will

also

make more money and be able to support themselves better. To illustrate, some recent stories in the media highlighted that

students

who finish high school are less likely to be unemployed, and more likely to earn higher salaries.

In addition

, by

schools

preparing young

people

for

jobs

Add a comma

,jobs

show examples

there will be a

better prepared

Add a hyphen

better-prepared

show examples

workforce.

This

benefits

society

by raising productivity and ensuring that employers have the necessary

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

they need.

However

, there are

also

advantages of

schools

having other functions.

First

of all, they should teach

students

skills to make them well-rounded. By teaching communication skills and how to use technology the

students

will be

better rounded

Add a hyphen

better-rounded

show examples

individuals. Clearly, these are important skills in today’s

society

and so they should be learnt at school. As well as

this

schools

should teach morals and ethics because

this

will make

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

better. Many

people

feel that

this

aspect of schooling has become neglected, and has led to a deterioration of

society

. in conclusion, I believe both sides of the argument have their merits. On balance,

however

, it seems that

schools

should have other functions.

This

is because if the

students

are well-rounded they will be more successful in their lives and contribute more to

society

Submitted by vshashkova1987 on Sat Nov 19 2022

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that the education system should only focus on preparing students for employment, while others believe it has other important functions. Discuss both sides and then give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is considered very important. What are the causes of this? Is this a positive or negative development?

People today are more concerned with owning material possessions than with developing friendships and family relationships. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Some universities offer online courses as an alternative to classes delivered on campus. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

It is a natural process that some animal species are extinct (e.g. dinosaur and dodos no longer exist). There is no reason that some people try to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?

In many societies in the world, the population is ageing rapidly and this is leading to an unsustainable increase in the cost of public healthcare. A nation’s population should pay for their healthcare provision in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?