IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think that there should be some strict controls about noise. Others think that they could just make as much noise as they want. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #controls #noise
Some would argue that there should be severe
regulations
 about
noise
 pollution, while others say that they must be allowed to make the
noise
 they desired. While some
Correct your spelling
people
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 believe they have the
right
 to make strong sounds as much as they want, I believe there should be stronger
regulations
 to monitor the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
noise
people
 are producing. On the one hand, many citizens think they have the
right
 of yelling and
hearing
Wrong verb form
hear
show examples
loud
music
 during the
day
 because they wanted or like it.
Firstly
, some
people
 feel excited by hearing loud hi-hop
music
 and they do not care about time or others
neighboors
Correct your spelling
neighbours
 that might be
disturbing
Replace the word
disturbed
show examples
 by
this
noise
.
Also
, these individuals believe that having a house
grant
Correct subject-verb agreement
grants
show examples
 them the
right
 to do and hear wherever they want.
For instance
, In
los
Change the capitalization
Los
show examples
 Angeles California most of the
people
 are coming from Latino Community that like to hear really loud
music
 during the
day
, and sometimes the police department
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not attend these calls to give them some
regulations
.
However
, I believe
this
 should not be
this
 way because there are a lot of
people
 who work
night
Add an article
the night
a night
show examples
 shift, and they really need to rest at home.
On the other hand
, some individuals strongly believe there should be stronger
regulations
 on controlling the amount of
noise
 a person
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 during the
day
 and night because
this
 is
people
's
right
.
Moreover
, it is vital to have a pleasant rest at night and during the
day
 because there are many children who need to study and they need to focus on
Correct your spelling
assignments
assigments
Correct your spelling
assignments
.
Also
, it is well-known that keeping
low
Add an article
a low
show examples
 level of
noise
 help to improve
people
's mental health. To explain
further
, in Anaheim high-heels California, there are strict
regulations
 for society who live there, and they must follow a schedule
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 9:00 am to 7:00 pm that allows them to hear moderate volume
music
, and outside
this
 period of time, they are not allowed to produce any
noise
. I believe
this
 is apreferable way of living because they have control of
noise
 pollution, and
this
 allow them to have peace at home.
Although
 so many citizens believe they can produce the
noise
 they want, I believe they should be stronger
regulations
 to control the amount of
noise
 a person can make because
this
 directly affect
people
's performance.
Submitted by cuevas14dic on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: