some people believe that parents should be responsible for encouraging their children to take regular exercise . others argue that the main responsibility for encouraging children to do so should lie with school . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people get hold of the
idea
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that
parents
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need to be responsible for encouraging their child to do some
exercise
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on a regular basis,
while
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others believe the teachers in
school
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should take the primary responsibility. Personally, I consider that these two
manners
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methods
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should take equal responsibility. Before starting
school
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life,
parents
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should help their child
to
Verb problem
apply
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establish the
idea
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of fitness, which is beneficial to their mental and physical health.
Children
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tend to mimic their
parent's
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parents'
show examples
behaviour. If a healthy lifestyle
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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as doing some
exercise
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and balance between life and work, the
parents
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hold
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apply
show examples
, their
children
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are more likely to have a similar schedule.
For example
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, I am really into playing basketball
due to
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my father taught me the
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
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of doing sports and played it with me on a court within walking distance of my home whenever I felt bored.
Thus
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,
parents
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are supposed to help
children
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establish the
idea
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of fitness ,especially in their childhood. Meanwhile, there are some reasons that schools are required to be responsible for encouraging
children
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to
exercise
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. The primary reason is that teenagers always spend several hours in
school
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and
thus
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suffer from the stress of heavy schoolwork. Schools need to arrange some PE lessons and allow
students
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to do their favourite sports and recharge themselves.
For instance
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, in America, PE is a compulsory subject
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
when
students
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apply for
Correct article usage
an
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elite college, they should submit
a
Correct article usage
apply
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good
grade
Fix the agreement mistake
grades
show examples
for PE. In my opinion, the
school
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should supervise
students
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and
encourages
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourage
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them to do
sport
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sports
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for
Change preposition
to
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releasing
Verb problem
relieve
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pressure
Check wording
stress
show examples
. In conclusion,
parents
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tend to stimulate
children
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to establish the
idea
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of
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that
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"taking
exercise
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is beneficial to our body",
while
Linking Words
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school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
should help
students
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to keep doing
this
Linking Words
.

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Task Response
To raise task response, state a clear view and give strong reasons for your choice. Add more facts or simple ideas for each point to show you understand the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
To raise coherence and cohesion, use clearer links to move ideas. Start a new paragraph for a new idea and use linking words like first, also, and finally.
Task Response
You show a clear view that both parents and school share the job.
Coherence
Some real life example and a look at policy are used.
Task Response
You try to explain both sides before your own view.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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