Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #time #education #years

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A notion

had

Wrong verb form

has

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emerged in contemporary society, which is compulsive education should be taken to the young who are below 18 years old.

Although

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it could not be suitable for all children, I am still convinced by the opinion, and the given view will be discussed in

this

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essay. One remarkable reason why full-time teaching is a must for teenagers is that they do not have enough ability to judge. That means, without the guidance of schools, students who enter society too early, may be easily influenced by some bad notions, and

then

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even

breaks

Correct subject-verb agreement

break

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the law.

By contrast

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, guided and cared for by teachers, teens could have notions of good and bad, and detrimental behaviours could

also

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be prevented

at advanced

Change preposition

in advance

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Besides

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, for the development and prosperity of the nation,

this

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teaching method is necessary. Because the increasing economy needs numerous professional people, all these people come from a strong education system.

For instance

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, if there is no

compulsive

Correct your spelling

compulsory

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education, some teens may drop out the school, and lose the possibility of becoming

such

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experts who are very propellant of our economy blooming.

However

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, there are still some special conditions that could be found,

for example

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, some teenagers have great talents in sports like the famous NBA player James,

hence

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the forcing academic life may damage their career because they do not have enough time to improve their skills in sports, the knowledge which is thought in normal school is not what exactly they need. In conclusion, compelling full-time school teaching is necessary for both students themself and society, albeit existing

in particular

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cases.

Submitted by 1022257956 on Sat Nov 19 2022

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task response

Develop your ideas more fully to provide a more thorough response to the task.

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Ensure that your main points are clearly supported with relevant examples and details.

coherence cohesion

Your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion. Well done! Try to link your ideas more cohesively within paragraphs with appropriate use of cohesive devices such as transition words and pronouns.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

265 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

fundamental cornerstone
literacy and numeracy
social inequalities
foundation of knowledge
social mobility
informed and engaged citizenry
democratic processes
youth crime rates
productive activities
vocational training
workforce
stifling individual talent
economic contribution
stress and mental health issues
unsuitable educational system
one-size-fits-all approach
diverse talents
career paths
formal academic education
financial strains
low-income countries
improving quality of education

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Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that a person can never understand the culture of a country unless they speak the language. Do you agree with this opinion?

In today's world, many people use mobile phones and the Internet to communicate with others. This has resulted in the use of new words and different forms of spelling and grammar. Are they a positive or negative development?

In today’s world, private companies rather than the government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that the violence shown in movies and video games has a damaging effect on society. While others believe that these don’t have an influence on people’s behaviour. What is your opinion?