IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn about other cultures of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films and the internet. Do you agree or disagree?

#travel #places #cultures #people #books #films #internet
Due to globalization, the whole world has shrunken to a small global village. Cultures of other countries can be learnt from the
Internet
, films and books and there is no need to travel to that places. I completely disagree with
this
 statement, I shall discuss my points in the following paragraphs. At the outset, everything is available on the
internet
 including
cultures
Correct article usage
the cultures
show examples
 and
traditions
 of different countries. We can read about that by sitting
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our own place,
however
, we cannot experience it by reading only from the
internet
 or by looking at different types of pictures. A
person
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to meet in
person
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people of different
traditions
 to know about their food and their other customs in detail.
For instance
, food cannot be tasted from the
internet
, a
person
 has to go to that place to eat it and experience it. In fact, by talking to different types of people, a
person
 can learn about their language.
Hence
, the
internet
 is useful to some extent, but to experience different
traditions
personally
Add a comma
,personally
show examples
 a
person
 has to
be go
Change the verb form
go
show examples
that
Change preposition
to that
show examples
 place.
Correct your spelling
Additionally
Additonaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, exploring new
traditions
 and different customs by going to their places helps in
enhancing
Wrong verb form
enhance
show examples
 tourism and
therefore
, helps in boosting
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 of that country. As
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it provides employment to many local people.
For example
, In India, many
foreigner
Change to a plural noun
foreigners
show examples
 come to visit Manali to learn about the culture of that region, and
this
 provides jobs to many individuals
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 that area
Submitted by shikha_dhingra on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Authentic experiences
  • Cultural immersion
  • Sensory learning
  • Cost-effective
  • Language barriers
  • Interpersonal interactions
  • Balanced approach
  • Virtual tours
  • Lived experiences
  • Credibility of sources
  • Misconceptions
  • Multicultural competency
  • Stimulate curiosity
  • Digital platforms
  • Stereotypes
  • Environmentally sustainable
  • Hands-on experience
  • Global perspective
  • Biased information
  • Cultural nuances
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