IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn about other cultures of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films and the internet. Do you agree or disagree?

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Due to globalization, the whole world has shrunken to a small global village. Cultures of other countries can be learnt from the
Internet
Use synonyms
, films and books and there is no need to travel to that places. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, I shall discuss my points in the following paragraphs. At the outset, everything is available on the
internet
Use synonyms
 including
cultures
Correct article usage
the cultures
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 and
traditions
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 of different countries. We can read about that by sitting
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our own place,
however
Linking Words
, we cannot experience it by reading only from the
internet
Use synonyms
 or by looking at different types of pictures. A
person
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have
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has
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 to meet in
person
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to
Change preposition
with
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people of different
traditions
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 to know about their food and their other customs in detail.
For instance
Linking Words
, food cannot be tasted from the
internet
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, a
person
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 has to go to that place to eat it and experience it. In fact, by talking to different types of people, a
person
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 can learn about their language.
Hence
Linking Words
, the
internet
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 is useful to some extent, but to experience different
traditions
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personally
Add a comma
,personally
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 a
person
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 has to
be go
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go
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that
Change preposition
to that
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 place.
Correct your spelling
Additionally
Additonaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, exploring new
traditions
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 and different customs by going to their places helps in
enhancing
Wrong verb form
enhance
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 tourism and
therefore
Linking Words
, helps in boosting
economy
Add an article
the economy
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 of that country. As
,
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apply
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 it provides employment to many local people.
For example
Linking Words
, In India, many
foreigner
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foreigners
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 come to visit Manali to learn about the culture of that region, and
this
Linking Words
 provides jobs to many individuals
of
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in
show examples
 that area

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Authentic experiences
  • Cultural immersion
  • Sensory learning
  • Cost-effective
  • Language barriers
  • Interpersonal interactions
  • Balanced approach
  • Virtual tours
  • Lived experiences
  • Credibility of sources
  • Misconceptions
  • Multicultural competency
  • Stimulate curiosity
  • Digital platforms
  • Stereotypes
  • Environmentally sustainable
  • Hands-on experience
  • Global perspective
  • Biased information
  • Cultural nuances
What to do next:
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